Marvin Gardens and Timothy Turkey

Sometime between 1972 and 1975 I went to Towpath Elementary School in Avon, Connecticut. That would have been third to fifth grade for me. I wish I could be more specific but that was so long ago. I do have two memories, though, that are as clear as day.

The first is of Marvin Gordon. We sometimes called him Marvin Gardens, from Monopoly. He didn’t seem to mind. He was the class clown. I don’t know if that was because it came naturally, or if he did that for pure survival. He was the only black kid in the entire school. They bussed him in from a long way away. He was the first black person many of us had ever seen. We used to like to touch his hair.

Everyone seemed to like Marvin quite a bit, but none of us used to really socialize with him. He lived far away, and he was too exotic for the average elementary school student to reach out and embrace. In later years I often wondered what happened to Marvin, and how his time in Towpath shaped him. Does he remember any of it? If I were to meet him again, I would like to tell him that I’m sorry for treating him like some sort of mascot, and even sorrier that I didn’t get to know him better. I wish him well.

The second memory is much more painful for me. At Towpath there seemed to be a very clear divide between the popular kids and the outcasts. I was firmly ensconced among the outcasts. Unfortunately we were not a cohesive group. Last to be picked for any of the typical reindeer games, we tended to be little islands of lonely isolation.

One day the popular kids got it into their heads that everyone should be coupled. It retrospect we were awfully young to be thinking along those lines. I know I certainly wasn’t spending much time focusing on boys. But once that decree came down from the popular crowd, it became law. It was easy for them. The popular girls didn’t lack for popular boys. I don’t think anything really happened in particular. It wasn’t as if there were any kissing or canoodling going on. It was just a matter of status. I remember going home and crying because I didn’t have a boyfriend. I also remember my mother being shocked that I cared.

Eventually it was decided that the popular kids were going to choose couples for the rest of us, the dregs of Towpath society. And since I was apparently the lowest of the low, I got paired up with my lowly male counterpart: Timothy Turkey.

Looking back, I can now see that there was absolutely nothing wrong with Timothy. I’m sure he was a very nice boy. He probably would have made a fine friend. I didn’t really know him. I have no idea why he was rejected, any more than I know why I was. Maybe our mothers didn’t dress us in the right clothes. He seemed perfectly content to be considered my partner, though, even though we never talked.

Everyone called him Timothy Turkey so consistently that I cannot remember his last name. I sure wish I could because I’d try to track him down if I did. Because I did a horrible thing to Timothy, and I’ve felt guilty ever since.

You see, I was desperate to not be on the bottom rung of the social ladder. They used to say, “You can kiss a pig or you can kiss Barbara. I’d rather kiss a pig!” So when they decided I was supposed to be paired off with Timothy Turkey, of all people, I knew that I couldn’t let that happen. It would drag me even further down, I thought. I just wanted people to like me.

So in the twisted logic of an elementary school kid, I decided to call him up and tell him I hated him. And that’s what I did. I had never called a boy before, so I was a nervous wreck. And then to say something like that…I knew it was wrong. And it felt bad. It felt horrible. But I did it anyway. And I have carried that mortification with me ever since.

As a matter of fact, that made such an impression on me that I have never been intentionally cruel like that to anyone since then. I actually tend to collect misfits now. And I stick up for the underdogs of this world. There’s nothing I hate more than a bully.

I only wish I could ask Timothy for his forgiveness, because that was without a doubt the most horrible thing I’ve ever done to anyone. Timothy, if you’re out there, I’m so sorry for what I said.

marvin

Author: The View from a Drawbridge

I have been a bridgetender since 2001, and gives me plenty of time to think and observe the world.

29 thoughts on “Marvin Gardens and Timothy Turkey”

  2. I went to Towpath at the same time and remember Marvin, your description is spot on. The only black kid in Avon, and he went on to Avon High and was one of the Football Stars.. Everyone did seem to like him, or marvel at his ability to fit in and be the big football star.

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    1. What a coincidence! How on earth did you find this post? Marvin is on Facebook and accepted my friend request, but I don’t really know what to say. I wish I knew Timothy’s last name. I really do owe him an apology.

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      1. Hi.. I had a research career so since I’m retired, I still look things up. I googled Marvin’s name, and your Post came up listing his full name. I like your posts, will need to spend more time checking them out. I wonder if you knew me or vice versa? I graduated HS in 1984. Understand you left Avon at age 10.

      2. To be honest, Marvin and Timothy are the only names I remember from back then. I was a shy, very quiet girl. Perhaps you could help me in your research capacity. Now that Towpath is gone, I haven’t a clue how to find Timothy’s last name, if it’s even possible. My name is Barbara Abelhauser, so it would have been the only Timothy in my class, but does anyone even keep those records?

      5. I found The name for who I think Timothy is. It’s on my home computer so I will message again later. It has to be Timothy Turkey because he we’re all in class by year, and you and I were in the same year class.

      6. Wow, I look forward to knowing this. And now I have to ask myself if he’d want the apology or if it would just bring up bad memories. My desire for closure should not constitute an invasion of his privacy.

      7. Never know. He may not remember. A girl showed up at the 2006 school demolition event, when I was in third grade I really liked her a lot, and I mentioned it to her, and she thought it was funny, and I kind of regretted letting her now, because I didn’t get a response I was hoping for LOL. It was purely elementary attraction.

      8. I’m sure she was flattered, but taken by surprise. I know I would have been. My head was soooo not in that game back then. And I genuinely hope he doesn’t remember, frankly. Which makes me wonder if I should bring it up.

  3. I went to Towpath at the same time, and remember Marvin .. and lol about his nickname.. He went on to become a football star at Avon HS. Everyone seemed to really like him, he was nice. I often wondered how he liked going to an all white school… After I graduated and left Avon, I had little experience with the “real world” lol.

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      1. LOL, I will check it out. I was not prepared for blending in with non white suburban people… Avon was so sheltered, a typical bedroom community for Hartford. Avon has expanded so much since the mid 70’s, tons of retail which was sorely needed.

    1. What a great article. I wish I had known about it. I’d have come. My biggest memories there were related to the playground (I’d often hide in the trees up the slight hill) and having a male teacher who taught us, heaven knows why, all about caribou and their migration. Even back then I remembered wondering why on earth we focused on caribou. Oh, and one teacher had us take mealy worms home, and mine got loose and wound up in our breakfast cereal. My mother was so pissed off!

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      1. OMG we were in the same class!! I vividly remember the Caribou obsession… I think his name was Mr. Brooker. We had to do the whole Caribou migration simulation lol. I remember the worms too. I found you on FB, so will send a friends request.. My FB profile does not have my last name, just first name.. (a little trick for anonymity.) He also made us do a slide presentation.. Mine had some marching band music.. I was shy too, kind of hung out with few friends. I hated music class, forgot her name it was horrific lol

      2. Yes! Mr. Brooker! That’s it! Wow! He was great, caribou’s notwithstanding. He once bit into an apple and looked down to see half of a worm. And I hated music class, too. I’m not musically inclined to this day.

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