The View from a Drawbridge

It seems I grind my teeth in my sleep, so yesterday my dentist fitted me with a night guard. I’d never have been able to afford it were it not for a friend who owns a dental lab. Three cheers for friendship!

It occurs to me that my whole life I’ve worn some sort of appliance or another. As I child I wore special shoes as one foot tends to turn slightly inward. I have had glasses since the age of 3. At first I had to have a patch over one eye in order to strengthen the other.

Then there were the braces on my teeth, the crutches after I jumped off some concrete steps and chipped my ankle, the cane I used after I broke my foot, the wrist brace I’ve been wearing, which was then replaced briefly by a cast. I also have several crowns on my teeth. Don’t even get me started about the various and sundry feminine appurtenances.

If survival of the fittest were still a thing, I probably wouldn’t last 10 minutes. Thank goodness I wasn’t born 50,000 years ago. And it’s probably best that I chose not to pass on my genes.

I kind of feel like a Borg. “Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.” But rather than feel sorry for myself, I’m pretty darned glad I live in an era in which all these appliances are readily available. Prop me up in any manner you see fit. Just let me keep on truckin’.