I don’t like to be tickled. That should be all I have to say on the subject. But unfortunately there’s this weird tickling dynamic out there.
Some people actually think that there’s some get out of jail free card for tickling. It’s as if this form of space invasion is somehow more acceptable than any other inappropriate touch. Many people, who otherwise understand that no really means no, will cross that line when it comes to a tickle.
If you tickle me, I will laugh. It’s a natural reaction. But it doesn’t mean I’m having fun.
Here are two scenarios which will explain my stance on the subject:
First, there were a few times when I was a child when an adult tickled me and it got all creepy. And it’s a fact that pedophiles will sometimes use tickling as an inroad to even more abusive acts. Tickling should not be a socially acceptable way to cop a feel.
Second, tickling can be a form of aggression. One time a boyfriend tickled me so much it became painful and I cried. And he was kneeling on my hair so I couldn’t get away. And even though I was screaming for him to stop, he didn’t. And he had this glazed look in his eyes that chilled me to the bone. It was bad.
So, yeah, if you’re one of those people who thinks tickling can be fun, make sure the other person is genuinely on the same page. Otherwise, take the hint. And keep your freakin’ hands to yourself.
The View from a Drawbridge 
Usually I would say stop being a wimp to something like that. But you have my sympathies this time. I had a desire to kick down the door and smash your boyfriends head through the window
Well, needless to say, he’s an ex. But thank you for the sentiment. 🙂
En-flipping-tirely. And if you are doing your best to get away but can’t, you aren’t a wimp.
10 ^13 x “people can keep their @#$%^&! hands to themselves!” I am another abuse survivor and you have my sympathies ALL the time.
Thank you. You totally get it. It’s trying to convince the people who don’t get it that poses such a challenge.
I think you should be able to punch anyone who tickles you right in the face… but you might want to consult a lawyer first.
There is that. But then, why is that more of an assault than the unwanted tickling?
well, I mean, I honestly believe that, if you ask someone to stop a few times and they don’t, then any retaliation would be self defense, as long as you can argue in court that you consider tickling to be an assault… get some expert testimony from psychiatrists… it isn’t any worse than the Twinkie defense.
I’d love to be sitting in that courtroom. 🙂
the thrill wears off after the first half dozen times… uh… I mean… never mind
Ha.
yup
I have been known to kick men who thought they were play tickling. It’s a knee jerk reaction of self-defense after having been 10 fingered digit assaulted. I was going to say tickle abused, but when you google the term, it comes up with examples of tickle fetish sexual pleasure-pain. It needs a better term to separate it from it’s lighter playful and/or it’s fetish aspects when there’s no pleasure involved…only pain. Maybe then it could be taken more seriously as abuse.
It’s that laugh reaction that muddies the waters.
The thing is I never laughed because it has always been physically painful and though I made that very clear with my yelling and kicking or crying (when I was little) people never took me seriously. Don’t know how often I was called a baby. But I stand my ground when you come at me uninvited anyhow and make no apologies.
Good for you!
People are often ticklish where they need to protect themselves, and laughter is an automatic instinctual and submissive response to the tickler–which is why nonconsensual tickling is an assault: It’s a demonstration of power played out by the tickler who doesn’t stop. Fun has nothing to do with it. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tickle_torture. Also see http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2331500/Researchers-discover-laugh-tickled–answer-funny.html
Thanks so much for those links, Jen. That Daily Mail one was particularly fascinating. Now I’m more convinced than ever that my stance on this issue is the right one.
It is also a form of Bullying. In Junior High, I was small for my age, and friends and foe alike would tickle me until I wet my pants. I never gave them satisfaction and endured great inner embarrassment. My parents taught me well. If they don’t think they can break you, they will move on… , It is a great preparation for adulthood, and even old age. There are bullies everywhere.
That’s for sure.
And welcome back! I’ve missed you.