The View from a Drawbridge

The random musings of a bridgetender with entirely too much time on her hands.

My dogs are no longer speaking to me.

Quagmire is full of righteous indignation because I sprung a surprise bath on him the other night. Apparently while I was at work, he took every opportunity to stick his head under Devo’s urine stream and then he rolled on dead things for added fragrance. When I got home, I smelled him before I saw him. He was so proud.

Now he smells all flowery. And he’s a boy. The least I could have done was use Axe shampoo for men. Or, I don’t know, canned gravy or something. But nooooo.

But his outrage pales in comparison to Devo’s. (And I have to confess that if someone did this to me, I’d be rather furious, too.) I took him to the vet. And not just for the Annual Charming of the Entire Staff, either. This time it was so that I could learn how to express his anal glands. The indignity of it all!

To say he was not amused was putting it mildly. But then, neither was I. And I still can’t imagine how I’ll pull off this caper alone with him at home. I suspect that will be fodder for a future blog entry. At a bare minimum, he’s going to have a PTSD flashback whenever I break out the rubber gloves. (My apologies in advance if your habit is to read this blog over breakfast.)

The things you do for your pets. Next time someone in authority says, “This is for your own good,” I’m going to try really hard to cut them a tiny bit of slack.

Now, please excuse me while I go bribe myself back into my dogs’ good graces with Greenies. Yeah. They have their price.

I wrote this post about a week ago, when everything was fine. Then Devo, my best friend, had a sudden, completely unexpected health crisis that caused me to have to make the horrible decision to put him to sleep. Rest in peace, my beloved friend. I’ll miss you.


Quagmire and Devo, conspiring my overthrow.

Check this out, y’all. I wrote a book!

17 thoughts on “Oh, the Humanity!

  1. Angiportus says:

    Can’t they just take those glands out?

    1. Moot point now, but I’ve never heard of them doing that.

  2. Enjoyed this post much. Greenies are awesome!

  3. My dog Ali has issues with anal glands as well. I have not yet volunteered to do this myself. We found an older doctor in the group who has years of experience with this issue. We were taking Ali twice a month at first and clearing out any infections. Needless to say, Ali knows where she is going 2 miles before we arrive, acting very nervous and agitated to say the least. The good news, two weeks ago he advised us to add a teaspoon of natural plain yogurt to her food twice a day. She loves it and will not eat her food until we go into the fridge to get the goodies. She yaps it up. We have a follow up appointment in two weeks and I will let you know if this was successful. Your poor dog. I don’t think I would want someone’s hands up my “ass” squeezing junk. Just the thought of it sickens me. Good luck with you dog.


    1. Thanks. I was having the vet do it, but it was getting expensive. But if you read the follow up at the bottom of the post, I had to put Devo to sleep this week because of an unrelated issue. 😦

      1. I am so sorry for your loss.

  4. Angiportus says:

    My condolences. May your next one be gland-free, or at least trouble-free.

  5. They will forgive you… sooner or later…

    1. Quagmire has. I think Devo did. I hope so.

      1. They are better at it than people.

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