“The most racist week of my life.”

Recently, a man named Alan MacAulay (pictured below) posted the following story on Facebook. It’s about what he experienced, as a white truck driver in rural south Georgia, when he chose to wear a Black Lives Matter hat for one week. I’ll let him tell the story in his own words.

THE MOST RACIST WEEK OF MY LIFE

I work for a beer company I’ve been delivering for 7+ years

I run a route that consist of Pooler, Rincon, Springfield, Guyton, and Port Wenworth. All of these places are in southern rural Georgia. This week I decided to take a stand with my fellow American brothers and sisters against racism.

I have never felt as much hate, fear, anxiety, and disbelief since I started here.

My Black and Indian customers loved it. Many of my white customers showed me nothing but hatred and disgust.

I have been followed all week, I was kicked out of a store for the first time ever, and had customers openly refer to Mein Kampf and death to the Blacks.

My Friday’s are usually my best day but not today.

At my third stop today I had first ever run I with a Klan member. He stood very close to me and my black assistant with hatred in his eyes. I didn’t realize what he was until he walked away wearing a jacket with a huge Blood Drop Cross.

I continued my day 2 stops later a firefighter came and stood at the back of my truck. He followed me to the door with my pallet of beer just standing and talking on his radio.He did this for the next 3 stops. I was concerned and scared but I just keep working. At my last stop today I was rolling beer into the cooler and a man in full army fatigues, a bucket hat, and sunglasses ran in a stood about 2 feet away with his hand in pocket. Not one white person said anything about my hat all week, but I could feel their hatred. It was sickening and scary how much they hated me for it. I will never know the struggle of being a black man and I could just simply take the hat off. I felt things this week I haven’t ever felt in my life all because of my hat. These people hate and want to kill anyone who stands against them. This is very serious and I cannot believe what it would be like if I was black. Please my fellow white people Please help from the bottom of my heart.

No American should feel these things and die because of them. I love you guys please help make America and the world a better place.

I admire this man for what he did. I admire him for what he posted. His heart was in the right place. It’s a step in the right direction. But at the same time, as I read it, I couldn’t help but think, “You know you can take that cap off at any time.”

And that’s the crux of the matter, isn’t it? We white people have the ability to dip our toes into the pond of racism, but we are not forced to swim there every minute of our lives. People of color can’t simply take off their skin when they get tired of being mistreated. They don’t get to take a break. They are in it. Always.

I think it’s great that more of us white folks are trying to understand. But I think part of that comprehension means that we have to acknowledge that we can never completely get it. Because we can always take our hats off at any time. That’s what’s known as privilege.

Alan MacAulay

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6 thoughts on ““The most racist week of my life.”

  1. Lyn

    You can choose to keep that hat on and not remove it until true equality is obtained. When that day comes, if you’ve survived, you’ll have gained a deeper appreciation for it than the average white privileged person would, and you’d be more likely to help protect that new found equality. Loving and raising a child of color or marrying a person of color is also an eye opener to understanding. When it’s someone you love that’s being targeted, you feel their pain and fears and you can’t choose to take that hat off. [Observations gained from my multiracial family and extended relationships. It’s a racial/social rainbow.]

  2. Angie

    I don’t think you paid attention to his post. He made the point that he could take off the cap where a black person could not. It is in the swings to last paragraph.

    1. Of course I read it. But the fact remains that he had an experience, but he didn’t have THE experience, because there’s always the knowledge that the hat can come off. He pointed that out, and I’m not criticizing him. I’m saying his experience isn’t THE experience, for all I appreciate his effort to experience it. I’m glad he did what he did. But he CHOSE to. That’s a luxury the POC doesn’t have.

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