Here lately, I’ve had to really think about the ways I communicate with others. I am a literal thinker. If you say something, I assume you mean it. I’m sure my autism has a great deal to do with that. I’m starting to believe that neurotypicals don’t always mean what they say, and apparently they’re capable of figuring out when things should be taken seriously, and when they should be taken with a grain of salt. I don’t have that skill, so navigating that world can be very confusing for me. A lot of misunderstandings can and do occur.
I find it much simpler to be a straight shooter. No games. No reading between the lines. No wasted time. But apparently that makes me seem too abrupt and too rigid.
I’m also told that I overshare. I like to give details so everyone is on the same page, but it seems that many neurotypicals would prefer the broad strokes and the chance to come to their own conclusions. Anything more than that seems to cause irritation. So here I am, trying to be helpful, and instead I’m annoying.
I’m not sure I’ll ever get communication right. I hope I’m becoming more self-aware, at least. But in the end, I’ll still be who I am.
However, I can see how it can be quite handy to know what people are really trying to say. If they are expressing a concern that seems irrational, it pays to look deeper. What are they truly worried about?
This is going to take practice. But every once in a while I get it. I wrote about one of those times years ago, in a blog post entitled, A Lesson in Subtext. I’m rather proud of that post. I hope you’ll check it out.
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The View from a Drawbridge 