The View from a Drawbridge

The random musings of a bridgetender with entirely too much time on her hands.

I think unconditional love is an absurd construct. Even my dog has his limits. If I stopped feeding him or started torturing him, how much do you think he would love me then? While it’s comforting to think that there is love that you can count on, I believe that the responsibility for maintaining that …

Continue reading

If Jerusalem has taught us nothing else, it’s that people take their boundaries very seriously. We like there to be a clear-cut distinction between what’s ours and what’s yours. Make no mistake: We don’t really forgive you your trespasses. History bears this out. Because of this, it should come as no shock that we also …

Continue reading

I tend to think of relationships as solid, especially the long-lasting ones. But here lately I’ve been working on my boundaries quite a bit, and that has tested quite a few friendships. It’s scary and it’s lonely and I keep doubting myself. Just in time for the holidays. Woo hoo. I have always had boundary …

Continue reading

It’s for your own good. Tough love. This is a last resort. Mother knows best. It sounds good, in theory. Like someone has your best interests at heart, and is establishing firm boundaries. It’s about time, some would say. Strong leadership! Yeah! But even the slightest scratch to the surface of this theory reveals its …

Continue reading

Actually, No.

The View from a Drawbridge

Here’s the thing. (Yes, there’s always a thing.) I was raised to be a good girl. My default position is to respect authority. Be cooperative. Don’t make waves. Accommodate others. And above all, always, always be polite. Well, you know what? Fuck that. All those values are great if everyone is playing by the golden …

Continue reading