The View from a Drawbridge

The random musings of a bridgetender with entirely too much time on her hands.

Self-Abuse

The View from a Drawbridge

True confessions: When I’m angry, frustrated, upset, or feeling helpless, I either eat or spend money or both. I don’t need to be hungry or in need of something. I just do it. I know this about myself. I know it even as it’s happening. But I can’t seem to stop. (What a First World …

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Consider this to be a thought experiment. If your body were a separate, sentient being, and you were simply a parasite who rode around inside of it and dictated what it did, what would your body want to say to you? I’m fairly certain mine would be rather furious. So, what follows is my attempt …

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I went shopping for a bathing suit the other day, and to my horror I discovered that I’ve finally reached a size where all suits come with little skirts. Even I have to admit that it looks better that way, but it’s official: society no longer wishes to gaze upon my thighs. Ah well. It …

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A friend of mine recently posted a meme on her Facebook page that said “Slow progress is better than no progress.” My first thought was, “Great. That would be comforting if I were making slow progress.” The fact is, I have felt as though I haven’t moved forward in years. If anything, I’ve been sliding …

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I’m feeling cranky today because it’s my last day of vacation. I’m in the mood to gripe about stuff, so here goes nothing. It drives me absolutely nuts when someone who does not know me calls me honey or sweetie or darlin’. It sounds so condescending to me. It says, “I can’t be bothered to …

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There’s nothing more absurd than someone who harms himself to punish others. Everyone knows a story to that effect. I know a woman who started smoking as a teenager simply to piss off her parents. 30 years later she has cancer. Was it worth it? And then there’s the guy who has a tattoo on …

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So, the other day I bent down to retrieve something, and heard “Look at the HAM HOCKS on this woman! Woo hoo!” Honestly. I know I have more than my fair share of junk in the trunk, but in what universe would anyone want their posterior compared to that of a pig? It was meant …

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Several months ago, my sister gave me a pedometer. It kind of hurt my feelings. I already know I’m fat. But her skinny little butt had a point. I’m a sedentary person. My job doesn’t help. Trying to get a bridgetender off his or her behind is like trying to shift a very large rock …

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