That Moment When You Realize You Have Horrible Taste

Hi, my name is Barb, and my curtains don’t match. My pillowcases don’t match my sheets, either. And some of the pants I wear to work are patched because I refuse to spend money on something that’s just going to get greasy. I’ve had pretty much the same hairdo since high school, and no one else seems to dress the way I do. I can’t be bothered to be trendy. I’d rather spend my money on travel.

I don’t wear makeup, I’ve never had a manicure, and I watch a lot of reality TV and true crime crap off of Youtube. I collect rocks. I also collect misfits.

I really ought to vacuum my car, but since I don’t even bother to wash it, what are the odds of that? And I’m sure my neighbors would say that my yard is in desperate need of attention.

The reason I appreciate my friends and loved ones so much is that they are willing to look beyond that surface stuff and see who I am. Underneath all that tacky sloppy stuff is a warm heart, a loyal friend, an intelligent woman with a killer sense of humor. I’m kind and compassionate and creative. And my dog loves me.

I admit I probably don’t make the best first impression. But I’ve always appreciated those people who are willing to delve deeper. Thank you all for that.

bad taste

Like the way my weird mind works? Then you’ll enjoy my book!


Starting Out Silver

Dating in one’s 50’s, or even later than that, is something else again. It’s not for sissies. It adds another whole layer of complexity to things.

In your 50’s, you’re more apt to come with appliances. Glasses. Dentures. Night Guards, canes or back braces, arch supports, bottles of pills.

There are things you can no longer do. Maybe your lower back isn’t up to that 10-mile hike. Or you don’t hear well enough to hang out in that noisy bar. You become less flexible, both physically and emotionally.

Chances are you’ve outgrown a lot of the shenanigans of your youth, too. Getting drunk isn’t as much fun anymore. One night stands are just depressing. And yes, I’d love that slice of pizza, but green peppers give me indigestion.

You also come with a boatload of baggage. You’ve got your whacky adult children, for a start. And ex-husbands or wives. Experiences you’d rather not repeat. You are skittish.

And lest we forget, that first impression of you naked is not going to be as stellar as it was when you were in your 20’s. Gravity has taken its toll. There are surgery scars. There are wrinkles and sags and grey hair, or no hair at all. Some things don’t work as well as they used to.

And, speaking from a purely female perspective, there are a whole lot of older men who are still looking for women in their 30’s. Lord knows why. They won’t be able to keep up with them. But they still expect you to be lean and athletic, with nice tight… skin. In other words, they’re in a fantasy world.

But oh, when you get it right… it’s magical. Age-appropriate partners are much easier to relate to. They get your cultural references. They understand your jokes. There’s a feeling of “we’re in this together.” You’ve each made your share of mistakes and have therefore learned a great deal. You’re hopefully more patient. You have many more stories to tell.

And even better, you get to feel young again. Just when you thought those butterflies in your stomach had moved on, they’re baaaaack! You forgot you knew how to blush. Life seems much more exciting. Hope springs eternal. And best of all, you appreciate things so much more because you never thought you’d ever have those things again.

What a gift!


Start a gratitude practice today. Read my book.

Last Impressions

We are all taught that it’s very important to make a good first impression, but I’ve had several experiences that lead me to believe that last impressions are equally important.

A few years ago I went to visit a friend from high school 25 years after we had graduated. We had a pleasant visit, but toward the end she said, “Do you still bite your nails?” I was stunned. I don’t remember ever having been a nail biter, but apparently I was. It’s kind of strange, thinking that someone has been wandering around for 25 years remembering me as, among other things, Barbara the nail biter.

When I was 26, I crossed paths with an aunt I hadn’t seen since childhood. As we prepared to go to a funeral, I noticed she was going through a lot of turmoil trying to coordinate the seating arrangements in her car. It turns out she thought I had to sit in the front seat. She didn’t want me to get car sick. That made me laugh. I hadn’t had motion sickness since I was 8 years old, but that’s the quality she attributed to me. Thank goodness I hadn’t been a bed wetter or she’d have pelted me with adult diapers.

And then there was the guy who told me recently that apparently a lot of people assumed I wandered through my Freshman year of college stoned out of my mind. That couldn’t have been further from the truth. In fact, I was quite the prude. I was just scared, shy, and in my own little world. But it makes me wonder who those people thought I was, and how it impacted the way they interacted with me. I wonder what friends I missed out on having.

Recently I’ve been feeling very misunderstood. I’m beginning to wonder how people see me, because however it is, it doesn’t seem to be how I see myself. I don’t know if I’m not expressing myself properly or giving false information, or if my sense of humor is not taken as such, but I’ve been stunned by the feedback I’ve been getting of late. Perhaps when I’m not busy biting my nails or getting stoned to avoid car sickness, I should work on that.

Anyway, it seems that the last impression you give a person can stick with him or her from there on out. The tricky thing is that you can never be sure when you will be seeing someone for the last time. When in doubt, be on your best behavior.


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