I’m, Like, All Official, and Stuff

The other day I was walking across my drawbridge to do some sweaty, greasy routine maintenance on the south end. I was in my sweaty, greasy safety vest and my hard hat. (Incidentally, why do I have to wear a hard hat on an open sidewalk? What am I protecting myself from? Meteor showers? Low flying planes? Beats me. I just do what I’m told.)

As I walked, I was lost in thought. Gazing at the sunset, humming a little tune, I suspect that I wouldn’t have noticed if Peter Dinklage had walked past me in full Game of Thrones finery. Thusly, I found myself in the midst of a film crew without even realizing what I had walked into. I have no idea what they were filming, but there were about 8 of them out there. I picked up my pace, hoping I hadn’t interrupted anything critically important.

As I left the “set”, I heard one woman whisper, “She looks so official in her green shirt.”

First of all, huh? I was literally wearing a green t-shirt that I had picked up at the Goodwill ages ago. What’s so official about not wanting to get grease on any prized garments?

I couldn’t work up the energy to turn around and ask what she meant by that. It didn’t seem hostile. I don’t think she was making fun of me. She sounded sincere. But what on earth?

Mulling it over later, I realized that no one would have said that about a man. Men don’t look official in their green shirts. It’s just assumed that they’re official, full stop. It wouldn’t occur to most people to even remark about them.

So now I’m a bit irritated. But I wasn’t put on this earth to teach every random stranger that I encounter about gender equity. I’m just workin’, here.


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Feminism: Why does it Terrify You?

Without a doubt, my most polarizing blogs are the ones with even the slightest feminist theme, and that always astounds me. Honestly, if you look at the definition, what on earth could you possibly take issue with?


[fem-uh-niz-uhm] noun

1. The doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.

2. An organized movement for the attainment of such rights for women.

3. Feminine character.

What could possibly be wrong with wanting equal rights, equal pay, and respect? What’s the problem with not wanting to be sexually harassed? Can there possibly be people out there, in this day and age, who think women deserve to be abused either physically, sexually, or emotionally?

The vast majority of feminists aren’t man-hating, bra-burning radicals who expect special treatment. We just want equal treatment. Is that too much to ask? What I find sad it that we even have to ask.

How is it possible that men can see women as inferior when they have without a doubt had mothers, sisters, and aunts? How do you look at those people sitting down with you at the dinner table and think, “this one deserves more out of life than that one.”

I realize this is an extremely complex issue. As long as there are women in the world who are gang raped on buses, as long as female babies are aborted simply for being female, as long as there are forced marriages and travel restrictions and genital mutilation and glass ceilings, there will be a need for a feminist movement. But fundamental equality, for anyone who has even the slightest bit of common sense, should not be something to fear.

I suppose that in any situation in which there is an anticipation of any form of power shift, however slight, someone is bound to feel threatened. But honestly, guys, you have nothing to worry about. We’re not going to make you wear aprons or, God forbid, pink, if you don’t want to. And if we ask you to step up and wash the occasional dish, it won’t kill you.

Everything is going to be all right. Really.