How Did Women Pee in Hoop Skirts?

I have thoughts like this all the time. But I really want to know! It must have been a nightmare. I wish my mother were still around to ask. Not that she grew up in that era, of course, but one of our old family stories is that she was the maid of honor at her brother’s themed wedding, and had to wear a hoop skirt. When she went to sit down in the horse-drawn carriage to go to the church, her skirt flew up over her head, and the person sitting across from her had to slap it back down and hold it for the rest of the trip.

Hoop skirts, bustles, whalebone corsets, pantaloons, veils, gloves… I can’t even imagine putting up with such inconvenience. It’s just not in me. I can’t picture the women of today tolerating some sort of new fashion trend that was uncomfortable or hindered their movement. They would think this was insane.

The only antiquated custom of that sort that seems to refuse to die out is the high heel. I long for the day when that ridiculous tradition is a thing of the past. There’s nothing practical, comfortable, or healthy about it, and it slows you down. It holds you back. The only thing I can say about high heels is that they don’t make it harder to pee. But still, I will never wear a pair again.

Update: I just came across this nifty Youtube video that demonstrates exactly how women peed in hoop skirts! Very informative!

Hoopskirt

 

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Make Yourself Comfort-Able

I will never wear high heels again. I just don’t see the point. I have absolutely nothing to gain from making myself more clumsy and uncomfortable. Life is just too short. Or maybe it’s too long. Either way.

Once upon a time appearance meant more to me than comfort. I was all about the skin tight jeans. Now, whenever I can get away with it, I’m in sweat pants. It’s just how I roll.

I was thinking about the word comfortable the other day. Able to experience comfort? Able to be comforted? Both of those things appeal to me greatly. Comfortable as in financially well-off? The thing about that is that most of the rich people I know aren’t very relaxed or happy or able to just chill out in sweat pants. So no, not so much.

I think truly being comfortable means doing what’s best for you and not caring what others think about that. It also means opening yourself up, allowing yourself to be vulnerable, exposing your soft underbelly so that others can give you support when you need it. When you’re in the weeds, it’s nice to know there are others there who will help you find your way out.

I resolve, here and now, to make myself more comfortable every chance I get. Who’s with me?

comfy

[Image credit: knowyourmeme.com]

Clicking my 6 Inch Heels

I love my WordPress statistics page. It tells me what countries have visited my blog and how often, it gives me hints as to how readers have found me, and it even tells me when people click on my attached photos to enlarge and/or copy them. Not to worry though, it doesn’t break this information down to specific individuals. Big Brother may be watching you, but he’s not watching that closely.

I have noticed a disturbing little fact that I wish I did not know about. By far, the most clicked upon photograph of all the photos attached to all my 474 blog entries to date is this one:

 high heels fallon 6 inch black patent stilletto

I used this photo in a blog entry called The Destruction of Women to illustrate the many torturous things we do to women’s bodies. Unfortunately I suspect that the vast majority of people that are being drawn to this blog entry are being drawn to it by this photo. They find it in Google Images, and then come in for an enlarged copy. It gets clicked on daily. So the very people who need to read this blog entry the most are most likely not reading it, but in fact using it to feed their warped fantasies.

Do you ever feel like you’re desperately shouting down a deep and empty well?

The next most viewed photo is from that same blog entry:

 breast-augmentation

Sigh.

And here’s the distant third, from my blog entry entitled The Business of Sexualization, in which I was trying to make the point that it is harder for women to be taken seriously in the workplace when there are photos out there making these jobs less about competence and more about sex.

                    female_firefighters_38

To make matters worse, here are some recent search terms people have used to find my blog, although in some cases I have no idea why these terms would bring them to me:

  • Anorexic women with breast implants
  • Breast augmentation
  • D breast implants
  • Naked women in mud
  • 6 inch pumps
  • Women wearing 6 inch heels
  • Breast implant beautiful
  • Prostitution Buenos aires how much
  • Wearing black high heels
  • Washing machine masturbation
  • Black women wearing high heels
  • Take your knickers down
  • Naked farmers blog

Also, thank heavens WordPress has a good spam filter, because not a day goes by when I don’t have a spam comment on a random blog entry that is trying to redirect people to their porn site.

This makes me want to pour a gallon of hot bleach over my head. Honestly, I wonder sometimes if people are here just for the pictures. It’s disheartening.

Intentional Helplessness

A friend once told me about his aunt, who, as a teenager, decided to sit down in a chair and not get up, to the point where months later, she couldn’t. She never walked again. Stuff like that pisses me off. It’s manipulative and counterproductive and, frankly, mentally ill. But she had to have had help in her stupidity, because she must have eaten and defecated during that time, and someone must have dealt with that.

This reminds me of the many adults I’ve encountered in my lifetime who refuse to learn how to drive a car. I have little respect for these people because invariably they expect family members to chauffer them around or run errands for them. By rendering themselves helpless, they actually are controlling others. I believe in dominance and submission circles this is referred to as “topping from the bottom”, and I find it infuriating.

Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not attacking people with anxiety disorders or those who have mitigating circumstances for their behaviors. I’m only going after those passive aggressive manipulators and the people who enable them. There’s sometimes more to the story, and I realize that. But back to my rant.

I don’t know who annoys me more, the people who feel they have the right to place all that extra burden on those around them, or the people who enable them in their efforts. Stop doing grocery runs for mom and see how quickly she either grasps the concept of public transportation or learns how to freakin’ drive like the rest of the adult world.

I’ve also crossed paths with people who have grown their fingernails two to three inches long. I’m sorry, but I am not going to pick your nose for you. I refuse. Can’t pick up the credit card you dropped on the floor? What a pity. Here’s a nail clipper.

Back in the dark ages, before internet, when we shared one computer for the entire office and it had a black screen with green, ectoplasmic lettering, I had one coworker who absolutely would not learn the few simple key strokes required to retrieve the data that was essential to have at various times throughout the day. She’d wait until I was at the computer, and then she’d ask me to do it. I did it once or twice, but then I said, “Look, write these steps down, because next time you ask me to do it for you, I’m going to say no.” She didn’t write it down. Next time she asked me to do it, I said no. And she got angry. I’m sorry, are your fingers broken? No? Maybe it’s your brain, then.

I guess I just don’t make a very good enabler. It would be impossible for someone to live under my roof and grow to 600 pounds, to the point where first responders have to remove a bedroom wall in order to cart their butt to the hospital. No. To get to the point where you’re too fat to walk, someone has to be willing to shop, pay for, and hand you the twinkies, and I’m not your girl.

I even get irritated with women who wear 5 inch heels and then complain they can’t run. Yes you can. You just choose not to. There’s a difference.

Life is going to throw you plenty of curve balls. Why on earth would you want to place obstacles in your own path?

Helpless

[Image credit: healthylifestylesliving.com]

The Destruction of Women

Today I came across this picture on Facebook.

 deform

A friend of mine rightly commented, “And this was before Photoshop.” Women used to aspire to have wasp waists. To heck with breathing, we wanted to be desirable! These contraptions caused deformities in ribs and internal organs, weak muscles, and respiratory problems. It also increased the rate of miscarriages and death in childbirth. How many women had to faint before this became less fashionable?

This got me thinking of other ways we women have allowed ourselves to be altered, to our detriment, all in the name of “beauty” or cultural norms. Foot binding springs to mind.

Foot Binding

We’d like to think this particular form of mutilation was isolated, but it’s estimated that one billion Chinese women were put through this over a period of 1000 years. Yes, you read that correctly. People thought this was a good idea for 1000 years. One’s toes were bent into the soles of the feet until they broke, and then the arch was broken. Needless to say, this caused infections, especially if the nails weren’t clipped short enough and they grew into the soles. The solution for that would be to remove the toenails altogether. Sometimes the toes would drop off completely, but that, apparently, was seen as a good thing because then you could bind the feet even more tightly. And then you had the continual breaking of other bones because it’s impossible to balance on bound feet, and falls were quite common. Does reading this make you uncomfortable? Well, it sure beats the lifetime of agonizing pain that these women suffered.

The two horrendous body mutilations mentioned above are, fortunately, a thing of the past. I wish I could say that this was the end of this blog entry, and there is nothing new to report. But no.

In some Asian and African cultures, women wear neck rings to make their necks seem longer. Actually, their necks aren’t elongated. What a relief, right? No, what happens is their shoulder blades become deformed, giving the illusion of a long neck. Their collar bones and rib cages also get pushed down. This is done so they will appear more attractive.

neck-rings-1

Even more horrific, in my opinion, is female genital mutilation, which, according to the world health organization, is still practiced in 28 countries throughout the world.

281851582_221142755001_100723FGM-3622281

About 120 million women have been subjected to this abuse. I won’t fully describe the procedure in all its grizzly variations. You can look it up yourself if you want to lose your appetite, but I will say that it is known to cause fatal hemorrhaging, cysts, recurring infections, a lifetime of pain, incontinence, fistulae, and problems during intercourse and childbirth.

Ah, but we western cultures don’t have to worry about these things, right? We honor our women! We would never cause them harm in the name of beauty, right? We’d never mutilate them, right? Well? Right?

breast-augmentation

Augmented breasts are supposed to make you more attractive and more successful. What they don’t tell you is these implants can make the breasts sore to the touch or numb and can decrease your sexual response. They also make it harder to detect breast cancer. Ruptures of the implants can cause pain and deformity. And your immune system can reject the implant and build a wall around it, causing pain, distortion and rupture.

And then there’s high heels.

high heels fallon 6 inch black patent stilletto

According to an article in the Washington Post, wearing heels places pressure on the inside of the knee, a common location for arthritis in women. It also causes your hips and spine to go out of alignment. It increases pressure on the forefoot, and shortens the length of the calf muscles. It can cause numbness in the toes, bunions, hammer toes, and ankle injuries. But hey! It’s attractive! That’s all that matters!

Since I’ve started viewing heels in this context, I’ve stopped wearing them entirely, and when I see others wearing them, I shudder.

What frustrates me most about all these horrors I’ve mentioned above is that we women are almost always complicit in these acts. If we don’t choose it ourselves, our mothers allow it or encourage it. So why are we so surprised when this happens?

 anorexia-nervosa

Eating disorders are more prevalent in women than men for a reason, and before we get all culturally superior, they are much more prevalent in Western cultures. We are raised to think that it’s important to be beautiful, but sadly we are often not warned that many standards of beauty are sick and twisted.

Eating disorders cause a whole host of side effects, including acne, constipation, osteoporosis, scurvy, diarrhea, electrolyte imbalance, cardiac arrest, kidney failure, tooth loss, brain atrophy, suicide and death.

Ladies, ladies, what are we doing to ourselves? I weep for my gender. And I’m also very, very pissed off.