Tag: influence

Doing Something Small

You are planting seeds wherever you go.

Recently, a friend shared this meme with me, and it really resonated.

First of all, I hate time travel movies. They all seem so formulaic, and an easy out for most writers. Don’t like the plot corner you’ve painted yourself into? Then allow your character to time travel! Problem solved! Literary laziness is what that is.

And I do believe that Back to the Future was the first movie that ever infuriated me. You sit through the entire thing, and then… wait. What? I have to watch another movie to see what happens? Are you kidding me right now? If I’m only seeing 1/3 of a story, I should only have to pay for 1/3 of the movie ticket! I want a REFUND!!!

But this meme does bring up a good point. If we are all willing to accept that changing one tiny thing in a timeline can change the entire future of humanity, why do we find it so hard to believe that doing one little thing in the present might make all the difference for the future? If you can buy into one premise, you should be able to buy into the other. And yet so many of us don’t realize how much our actions and words and beliefs matter.

A few times in life I have been told by people that something I said, or some example that I set, really changed their point of view. They viewed that interaction as pivotal to some aspect of their lives, and in most cases I can’t even remember the conversation. I don’t see myself as an influencer. I can’t even picture that. And yet I have been told this more than once, and it never fails to bring tears to my eyes. Happy tears, because I’ve only been told about positive situations.

But that begs the question: Have I ever changed someone’s life for the worse? And would that person tell me if I had? What would that conversation look like? What would I say? What would I do? Would it be possible to fix it? Would it be too late?

Just like everyone else, I’ve had bad days. I’ve said mean things. I’ve been tired and/or depressed and/or felt defeated or defensive or scared to the point of not caring about someone else’s feelings. We aren’t always our best selves. But those moments can be pivotal, too.

To make up for these things, whether they be real or imagined, I do try to leave positive marks upon the earth. I try to do good deeds and make positive changes and reassure people and encourage them. I try to be a force for good.

But when all is said and done, none of us can ever know our true impact unless we’re told. Perhaps that’s why none of us can predict the future. We can’t even see within the range of our own sphere of influence, let alone outside of it.

That’s why it’s so important to be kind. Tread lightly. Whether you know it or not, you are planting seeds wherever you go.

The ultimate form of recycling: Buy my book, read it, and then donate it to your local public library or your neighborhood little free library! http://amzn.to/2mlPVh5

Advertisement

“I’m So Glad You Were Born”

Each life is like a stone that’s thrown into a universal pond.

I tend to write that in birthday cards. Some think that’s weird. But I don’t look at birthdays as a mere placeholder for the passage of time, or a great excuse to eat cake and send subtly insulting cards. No. It’s a day to celebrate the fact that you came into this world. What a gift!

Most people view birth as a momentous occasion, of course, but do we all fully grasp just how momentous it is? Yes, you now have a new family member. Yes, your DNA has been passed on to the next generation. Yes, the kid is cute. Yes, you have dreams for their future. But there’s even more to it than that.

I can think of several people who have radically changed my life, mostly for the better. If they had not been born, I’d be an entirely different version of myself. Each life is like a stone that’s thrown into a universal pond. The ripple effects are infinite. Even total strangers can make a difference. They can pull you out of the path of a bus. They can pay for your Starbucks and cheer you up. They can vote a particular way, and/or they can storm the Capitol Building.

If Jonas Salk hadn’t been born, we might still be battling polio. If Malala Yousafzai hadn’t been born, girls the world over might be missing out on an education. If one of your ancestors hadn’t existed, you wouldn’t exist either. We’re all intertwined.

Today is my dear husband’s birthday. I can’t imagine what my life would be like without him in it. If he hadn’t been born, my entire world would be altered. I’d probably be walking through life sensing that something was wrong, and not being able to put my finger on it, just as I did before I met him. I’d be living a tragedy that I wouldn’t even be cognizant of. Lucky for me he was born. (Happy birthday, love!)

We are all interconnected in such subtle, yet complex ways that we all have an impact beyond our comprehension. So, yes, I’m glad you were born, dear reader, for reasons that neither of us may even know!

I’ll leave you now with this link to one of my favorite comfort songs that explains it much better than I ever could. It’s a great song. Check it out here. I defy you to not feel better about life in general after hearing it. But if you are unwilling or unable to listen to it, at least read the lyrics.

“WE ARE” (By Dr. Ysaye M. Barnwell)

For each child that’s born, a morning star rises,
And sings to the universe who we are.

We are our grandmother’s prayers.
We are our grandfather’s dreamings.
We are the breath of our ancestors.
We are the spirit of god.

We are …
Mothers of courage,
Fathers of time,
Daughters of dust,
Sons of great visions.

We are …
Sisters of mercy
Brothers of love
Lovers of life and
The builders of nations.

We are seekers of truth
Keepers of faith
Makers of peace and
The wisdom of ages.

We are our grandmother’s prayers.
We are our grandfather’s dreamings.
We are the breath of our ancestors.
We are the spirit of god.

WE ARE ONE.

A book about gratitude is a gift that keeps on giving! http://amzn.to/2mlPVh5

Astrology with an Agenda?

This makes me uncomfortable.

I just read an article entitled, “Meet the Woman Bringing Social Justice to Astrology”, and I am torn.

First of all, let me say that I’ve always taken astrology with a grain of salt. It’s fun to read horoscopes, but I don’t think our day’s fate is dependent upon one of twelve possible outcomes. I know I’m a Capricorn, and I feel like a Capricorn, but I’d like to believe I have more control over my life than the stars and planets seem to allow. I feel like more of a product of my life experiences and the choices I have made than anything else.

So, when I read that a very popular astrologer named Chani Nicholas combines social justice messages with her astrology, I thought, well… Yeah, okay. Apparently, she does things like urge action related to net neutrality, the MeToo movement, the border wall, DACA, sexual violence prevention, voting, and things of that nature.

My gut instinct was to think, “How dare you push your agenda as a prediction for my life?” But then I realized I kind of like her agenda. I’m also a firm believer in raising awareness about causes. And let’s face it: everyone who writes has some sort of an agenda, including yours truly.

Of course, her stance does tend to ruffle feathers, and according to the article, her response to that is, “I’m a stranger writing something for a million people. Don’t take it too seriously. If it helps you heal or navigate through our current crises of humanity, great. If it doesn’t fit you, move on.”

From that angle, I say more power to her!

But.

Rightly or wrongly, lot of people really buy into the whole astrology thing. They do take it seriously. If Ms. Nicholas is posing as an expert on that subject, then her agenda has undue influence on true believers. That makes me uncomfortable. Just sayin’.

L0071319 Horoscope of Prince Iskandar. Credit: Wellcome Library, London. Wellcome Images images@wellcome.ac.uk http://wellcomeimages.org Horoscope of Prince Iskandar, grandson of Tamerlane, the Turkman Mongol conqueror. This horoscope shows the position of the heavens at the moment of Iskandar’s birth on 25th April 1384. This is a fly leaf from the personal horoscope of Iskandar Sultan (died 1415), grandson of Timur, who ruled the province of Farsin, Iran. He is best known for his early military career and his patronage of the arts and sciences. Apart from being a horoscope, this manuscript is an exquisite work of art and an exemplary production of the royal kitabkhana ‘publishing house’ or ‘workshop’. The manuscript of 1411 is lavishly illustrated and reflects the efforts of a whole range of specialists: astronomers (among them Imad ad-Din Mahmud al- Kashi), illuminators, gilders, calligraphers and craftsmen, and specialists in paper-making. The manuscript was bought in Iran in 1794 by John H. Harrington, who had started his career as a clerk in the East India Company. In 1932, it was auctioned at Sotheby’s and bought for £6/15d by Sir Henry Wellcome who added it to his collection of Oriental books and manuscripts. 813/1411 Wellcome MS Persian 474 Published: – Copyrighted work available under Creative Commons Attribution only licence CC BY 4.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

My agenda revealed: I wrote an actual book, and you can own it! How cool is that? http://amzn.to/2mlPVh5

Why I Love the Primaries

You can make a bigger impact in the primaries than at any other time.

Recently I had the privilege to attend a Bernie Sanders rally at the Tacoma Dome here in Washington State. Yep, that arrow, pointing to the blue smudge amongst the 17,000 other attendees in the picture below…that’s me! It was exhilarating to be among so many like-minded people.

I imagine it would be even more exciting for someone who was still on the fence about who they intend to vote for in the primaries, but I’ve been for Bernie since the last presidential election, so this was more of a confirmation of my beliefs in what he stands for. I will definitely vote for him in the democratic primaries.

But I’m not here to convince you to do the same. Make up your own mind. Seriously.

No, this is a post about primaries in general, and why I think they’re so critically important. It drives me insane that so many people skip the primary process altogether. The voter turnout is always much lower.

I’m a democrat, but here lately, it’s mostly by default. I would sooner die than vote republican, because they represent everything that I DO NOT stand for. But I’m losing faith in politicians in general, if I’m honest, and that’s heartbreaking.

I do believe firmly in the democratic process. I think voting is the most patriotic thing a person can do. When you vote, you’re helping to decide the moral shape of your country, and that’s important.

In a way, though, I think you have more ability to make an impact in the primaries than at any other time. When you vote in the primaries, you’re telling your political party what values you hold, and what direction you want them to take in the future. Even if your person doesn’t win, they’ll think, “Wow, that person stood more radically for women’s rights (for example) than any other candidate, and got 30 percent of the primary vote. Maybe we should take women’s rights more seriously, moving forward.”

I see primary platforms as my wish lists. If my person gets elected, do I actually think they’ll achieve everything they set out to do, given our obstructionist two party system? No one can, regardless of party, the way things stand these days. Not by a long shot. But even if they get partway to where I’d like this country to go, it’s better than the alternative. And if your party learns what truly matters to its constituents, then it will start putting up more candidates that hold those values. And then if that person wins… like I said, baby steps. But steps nonetheless.

So don’t skip your party’s primaries, folks. Don’t skip any election, for that matter. Vote! Vote! Vote!

Me at Bernie Rally

I wrote an actual book, and you can own it! How cool is that? http://amzn.to/2mlPVh5

The Devil Made Me Do It

The ultimate get out of jail free card.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about temptation. I can gaze at my ever-expanding waistline and think about how miserable it makes me, and I can stare at a bag of Tim’s potato chips, feeling helpless, and I know that without a doubt, I’ll be diving head first into that bag of chips sooner or later, waistline be damned. I can resist anything but temptation.

But temptation implies that there’s some outside force acting upon me. It’s sort of a get out of jail free card. It’s not my fault. The devil made me do it. I was tempted by… fill in the blank.

This deferment of responsibility is rooted, I think, in the religious teachings that have been embedded in our culture so deeply that we barely think about them anymore. I passed a church today, and the message on their sign said, “The devil wants us to FALL.”

Many of us are taught that we are weak creatures, prone to sin, and satan is out there, hellbent on making us commit these sins. We must resist. But if we can’t, we should repent and be forgiven.

It’s really rather comforting, having a ready excuse for bad behavior. It’s wonderful to be able to blame everything on some outside source, as if we have no ability to say no. Like we’re puppets on strings. We might be doing the dance, but it’s not our choice.

I have a friend who does not like to watch true crime documentaries, because he doesn’t want those sick ideas put into his head. It’s almost as if he thinks that if he learns the motivations of a serial killer, for example, then he might just become one himself. And, mind you, this is the most decent, stand-up guy I’ve ever met in my life.

Here’s an idea. Just say, “I don’t enjoy true crime documentaries.”

Here’s another idea. Admit that every single food item that I put in my mouth is there because I am choosing to put it there. Every. Single. One.

Here’s yet another idea. Stand up and say, “I chose to start drinking/smoking/doing drugs. Yes, now I’m addicted to this substance, but the process began with a choice I made, and now I can choose to get help and/or change my behavior.”

Granted, you can be tempted by others. But even then, you are choosing to surround yourself with these people. If someone is a bad influence, maybe it’s time to cut that person out of your life, or at the very least, stop participating in his or her negative behavior.

I think it’s time that we grow up as a species, and start taking responsibility for our own actions. It may not be fun. It may not be pretty. We may have a lot of ‘splainin’ to do. But we can do this.

I admit it. I have not seen my last potato chip. But at least I’ll know that the choice is my own, and hopefully I will make a better choice next time. I’m a work in progress. But the work, and the resulting progress or lack thereof, is mine, mine, all mine.

Chips

Start a gratitude practice today. Read my book. http://amzn.to/2mlPVh5

College Admissions Scandal? Seriously?

Richie Rich is always going to land on his feet.

Here’s what I find most scandalous about the college admissions scandal: that people are scandalized by it. I mean, come on. Does the fact that rich people are using their money, fame and influence to get their (sometimes undeserving) children ahead in this world come as a surprise to anyone? Does the fact that colleges and/or their employees are motivated by greed shock you? Honestly?

Do you really think that Donald Trump, whom analysts have determined speaks on a 4th grade level, and has the attention span of a hummingbird on crack, was good college material? Please. He has an economics degree from Wharton and has absolutely no idea how his policies impact the national and global economy. If he were proud of his SAT scores, he wouldn’t be trying so hard to suppress them. Somebody needs to covfefe his diploma.

Both presidents Bush went to Yale. That makes me think rather less of that institution. But it doesn’t exactly astound me.

Nor does it surprise me that so many football hotshots take no advantage of their academic opportunities, and aren’t really expected to. They are the athletic equivalent of cannon fodder. Their existence is only suffered because they fill the overpriced stadium seats. (There are exceptions, of course.)

Do I think it’s right that these rich kids and athletes have an unfair advantage? Of course not. Do I wish the playing field were level for all of us? Yes. Being able to purchase a degree lowers the value of the degrees the rest of us worked so hard to obtain.

But if you think this “scandal” is in any way new, you’re delusional. And yes, things will tighten up in admissions offices, for a time. But I guarantee you that in about 5 years, when we’re focused on something else, the status quo will reassert itself.

Trust me. Richie Rich is always going to land on his privileged feet.

End of cynical rant for the day.

Graduate

Like this quirky little blog? Then You’ll love my book! http://amzn.to/2mlPVh5

 

Selling Out?

I don’t want ads to change the way I write.

You may have noticed that I upgraded my WordPress account to a premium one. That means I have more file space, and my web address is now simply theviewfromadrawbridge.com, rather than having the word WordPress stuck up in there. Yup. I’ve taken it to the next level.

It also means that I can finally monetize my blog. I’ll probably be making more changes along those lines in the coming weeks. But until then, it means that I’ve signed up for WordAds. You’re probably seeing them on the page right now. So far, in the past week, I’ve made a whopping 37 cents because of those of you who have been kind (or interested) enough to click on these ads. (I guess I won’t be quitting my bridgetending job.)

I have very mixed emotions about this new development. I’ve been blogging every single day since December of 2012. That’s no mean feat. I think I spend at least 16 hours a week on this blog, and up until now I’ve done it for the pure love of it. And I hope I’ll always feel that way. I don’t want to lose that.

But sometimes it can be stressful. When I fall behind because I’m sick or otherwise occupied, it makes me anxious. And it’s not easy coming up with a topic every single day. So I think I’ve earned that 37 cents, in many ways.

But on the other hand, I don’t want these ads to change the way I write. I don’t want to start worrying about offending the advertisers. Apparently it really is possible to be blackballed.

I also don’t want to start focusing on increasing readership to maximise my income. I still want this blog to be about my random musings. I want to write about things I am thinking about and feel like discussing. I want it to continue to be fun to write and fun to read. I don’t want all my posts to become “The 10 Best Ways to Take Cute Pictures of Kittens” just so that my post will get more viewers and get more shares on Facebook.

I know that a lot of people find ads annoying. Sorry. And no, before you even ask, I have no control over the type of ads they post. I’m putting my trust in WordPress. They’ve been good to me up to this point.

So, what do you think? Have I sold out? Will these ads drive you away?

If not, could you be kind enough to click on them every now and then? I sure could use the butter and egg money. Thanks.

spare change

Claim your copy of A Bridgetender’s View: Notes on Gratitude today and you’ll be supporting StoryCorps too! http://amzn.to/2mlPVh5

Get Back

“I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to see the back of someone in my entire life.”

Recently, I watched someone leave, knowing I’d never see her again, and I thought, “I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to see the back of someone in my entire life.” I wanted to dance around. I wanted to sing, “Ding, Dong, the Witch is Dead.” (Oh hell, I’ll admit it. I actually did.)

It’s not the first time I’ve felt this way, and it probably won’t be the last. Unfortunately, there are a lot of toxic people in this world. It’s amazing how much their poison ripples outward, splashing all over those who are unfortunate enough to reside within their realm of influence.

I’ve also seen more than one person walk away forever, knowing I’d miss them very, very much. There are a few that I still occasionally cry over. People leave for a variety of reasons. Everyone has a different path to take in this world, and sometimes two paths can run parallel for a time, and then completely diverge. It’s part of life. That doesn’t mean I have to like it.

This got me thinking about backs in general. Turning your back can actually be aggressively rude, as was demonstrated to me quite recently by someone who wanted to make a point of telling the world that she did not want to acknowledge my existence. It came off as awfully childish and dysfunctional, but to each her own.

And then there’s the fact that no one can be as intimately familiar with one’s own back as others are. I have no idea what the back of my head really looks like. I mean, I’ve seen pictures, and have looked at mirrors aimed at mirrors, but it’s not the same. I don’t know what I look like when I walk away. I don’t think I’d recognize myself in a crowd if my back were turned.

The bottom line is that backs can be warm and cuddly, vulnerable, hostile, regal, defeated, strong, heartbreaking, excruciatingly painful, or a blessed, blessed relief. Maybe I should stop griping about the aches and pains mine gives me, and appreciate its complexity a bit more.

back-of-a-young-woman.jpg

I wrote an actual book, and you can own it! How cool is that? http://amzn.to/2mlPVh5

The Kind of Little Old Lady that I Want to Be

I don’t want my advanced age to be my cage.

A few weeks ago, I wrote The Geometry of Love, about a living demonstration of how all of us cross paths in random ways, and as we do, our influence widens. The demonstration has certainly had an impact on me in terms of how I view the world. But there was one detail I left out at the time, because it was a profound experience, and I needed time to digest it.

I didn’t participate in the experiment myself. I observed from the sidelines. But when they were asking for volunteers, I noticed an elderly couple sitting in front of me. Her arm shot up right away. She looked like she was in her late 80’s. She might have been 4’6” tall, and as fragile as a baby bird. Her husband grabbed her arm and tried to talk her out of it, because it involved spinning, and it was extremely obvious that this woman had balance issues. But no, she was anxious to get in there and participate. And so she did. He looked on with concern, but he didn’t stop her.

As she spun and wove amongst the other participants, she had a look of pure delight on her face. It made me smile. She was living her life, and having new experiences. But halfway through the demo, she came back to her seat and held her husband’s hand. She knew her limits.

I sat behind her and thought, “Wow. I want to be that woman in 30 years. I want to get in there and still try new things, even if it’s perhaps more of a challenge than I may be capable of meeting. I want to interact. I want to experience life. I want to go, and do, and see, and feel, and touch. I don’t want my advanced age to be my cage.”

But I also want someone to look out for me. I want him not to hold me back, but I want him to care, and I want him to be a safe place to return to when I realize I’ve gone as far as I can go. I want someone who will still hold my hand in my 80’s.

I’m proud to say that I’m pretty positive that I’ve found that man, dear reader, and I’m marrying him today. It just goes to show that it’s never too late to find your person. Wish me luck!

https _c1.staticflickr.com_4_3405_3275748024_9256bee984

Read any good books lately? Try mine! http://amzn.to/2mlPVh5

Shaping Your Life

When all is said and done, your life will be what you make of it.

Until very recently, I thought of my life as being linear. Birth, growth, death… aren’t we all on that inevitable path? But that makes life sound way too much like a treadmill. (All you’d have to do is look at me once and you’d know that I hate treadmills.)

Now I think of life as being three dimensional. That allows room for a lot more options. It more accurately reflects the diversity of the thousands of lives being lived on this planet. We each shape our lives. We are architects. We are sculptors.

We can be smooth and calm and uniform. We can be rigid and boxy and rough. We can zig and zag and branch off in wild directions. We can embrace. We can repel. We can circle back upon ourselves, or we can shoot forward like an arrow. We can take inspiration from others, or we can set out on our own. We can be steady and solid, or we can wobble unpredictably.

Don’t restrict yourself to a linear life, unless that’s what you truly want in your heart of hearts. Create something beautiful. Only allow others to influence that creation if you can look upon them and see the beauty within. (And don’t forget to thank those who help you shape your life in a positive way.)

When all is said and done, your life will be what you make of it. So make it special.

geometric

Portable gratitude. Inspiring pictures. Claim your copy of my first collection of favorite posts! http://amzn.to/2mlPVh5