Retort — re·tort — [ri-tawrt]
verb (used with object)
1. to reply to, usually in a sharp or retaliatory way; reply in kind to.
2. to return (an accusation, epithet, etc.) upon the person uttering it.
3. to answer (an argument or the like) by another to the contrary.
4. a severe, incisive, or witty reply, especially one that counters a first speaker’s statement, argument, etc.
5. the act of retorting.
Dear reader, I have to admit that I love wordplay. Pithy commentary, bad puns, dry wit, crackling repartee, it all turns me on. And I have been known to fire off a pointed retort in my day. No doubt about it.
What I seem to struggle with are boundaries. I tend not to know when to stop. This has gotten me into trouble in the past. At the ripe old age of 49 you’d think I’d have learned my lessons by now, but no. My pie hole still tends to get the better of me. I think I enjoy the adrenaline rush of a good zinger, and let the devil take the hindmost.
So my new homework assignment is to identify my retorts as they are being born within the most wicked parts of my brain, and kill off the little bastards before they can burst forth from my smug lips. It’s for my own good.
So thank you in advance for your patience, as this will probably cause me to stutter quite a bit. That’s if my head doesn’t explode.
Oh, who am I kidding?
[Image credit: zararafferty.com]