An Astrological Identity Crisis

You don’t get to change my sign!

Let me start by saying that I have a love/hate relationship with astrology. I know it’s not based on science at all. There’s no way to prove that certain personality traits are automatically attached to having been born at a certain time of the year. And I refuse to believe that one’s fate can be determined by reading a horoscope. That would mean that there are only 12 possibilities for any person on any given day. Poppycock. I’m a science person. I believe in facts.

On the other hand, I enjoy being a Capricorn. And the traits ascribed thereto do seem to fit me perfectly. But is that because I read about them and adjusted to them, or have I convinced myself that these qualities fit me, while overlooking my many other qualities? Hard to say.

I also do enjoy talking to people about their signs and how they think said signs describe who they are. And it can be fun to read the horoscope, but I certainly wouldn’t change my plans because of it. And I do find it comforting to be able to categorize people. It’s kind of an emotional shorthand. But to rely too heavily on that would be to grossly underestimate people.

I think of astrology as a fun little game. A curiosity. An ice breaker at the best of times.

So I was rather surprised at my visceral reaction when I read this article and discovered that by some interpretations, I have been a Sagittarius all along. Wait. What?

It seems that the sun actually passes through a 13th constellation, called Ophiuchus. First of all, let me just say that that’s unpronounceable to an annoying degree. Second, it throws off the dates for all the other signs. Chaos!

Does this mean I have to adapt to a whole new set of personality traits? Or is it the signs that should do the adapting? Who am I now?

Just for fun, I decided to read up on Sagittarians. Apparently, they’re smart, caring, deep, and brutally honest. Okay, that does sound like me. But they’re also supposedly wild and outgoing. I’m most definitely not wild, and I am the poster child for introversion. On the negative side, they are impatient. Okay, yeah. That’s me. But they’re also careless, boastful, and attention seeking. I’d like to think I’m none of those things. (Well, maybe sometimes. But usually not.)

For the most part, being a Sagittarius does not resonate with me. But who knows? Maybe I’ve been looking at myself from the wrong part of the sky all along.


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Officially Odd

A strange new addition to my drawbridge.

Recently, this sign was installed on all four corners of my drawbridge.

Bridge Sign

No one gave me a heads up about this. I just looked up one day and saw the workmen drilling holes on my beautiful bridge. It kind of felt like a violation. I take pride in my job and I love this bridge.

First of all, let me just say that I agree that jumping from a bridge is a really bad idea. You don’t know what jagged, rusty debris has been lodged beneath the surface over the years. You could hit a protection pier and break every bone in your body. (This has happened.) You could hit a passing boat. If the bridge is tall enough, it’s most likely going to be suicide by stupidity.

But can I just say that this is a very weirdly worded sign? Fist of all, why is “consequences” capitalized? Second, not all jumps are fatal. Third, “tragic” is a little vague. And why would it come after fatal, and not before? Aren’t fatalities tragic? Do they have to be broken out into their own little horrifying groups?

For an official city sign, it seems rather foreboding, emotional and repetitive. And dare I say that these signs are not going to prevent the stupid young boys, who are wont to do the jumping, from exercising this particular Seattle rite of passage? I wish people took signs seriously, but they don’t. If they did, I can think of a half dozen other signs that are needed here, based on the daily shenanigans that I witness.

I have no idea who designed these signs, or what prompted them to be put up at this particular moment in history, but here they are. I suspect that we’ve merely provided people with another place for their graffiti. I also suspect that these signs will always bug me. But these things are way beyond my paygrade.


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