Don’t get me wrong. I love lobster. I’d slap my mama for some lobster right now. But I’m trying to imagine the first lobster/human encounter. Here’s this ugly, spider-like thing with these big claws. How crazy would you have to be to say, “Let’s eat this bug-like creature!” I have similar thoughts about clams and oysters, artichoke, liver, haggis, peppers, and anything that requires fermentation.
I’d also like to meet the first guy who thought rappelling off a cliff was a good idea. Actually, anything that involves rope is kind of a sketchy proposition. Tightrope walking, window washing, rock climbing…someone had to be the first person to do all these things.
And imagine this conversation: “Mr. Smith, your heart is kaput. But I have this idea that I’ve been dying to try. Let’s replace it with the heart of a pig and see what happens.” And there is actually still a trepanation advocacy group, because lord knows we’d all be better off with holes drilled in our heads. And I’m convinced that mammograms had to have been invented by men. And what kind of a sick individual came up with electroshock therapy?
How would you like to have been the first person to get a tattoo or a piercing? And that Chinese foot binding thing? Please!
Humans. You gotta love ‘em.
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