The dictionary defines it thus:
in·teg·ri·ty [in-teg-ri-tee]
noun
1. adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.
It is the quality I admire most in a human being, and when I see a lack of this quality I’m always shocked and horrified. It takes courage to stand up for what you know is right at that crucial moment when most people would look the other way and let someone else handle it. My nephew Ryan showed an amazing amount of integrity the other night, and I couldn’t be prouder.
It was his 24th birthday, and he was at a bar celebrating with his friend Nancy. As the evening wore on this group showed up, and one of the guys kept calling this girl a wh***, sl** and b***h. So Ryan walked over to her and told her she was an amazing person and didn’t deserve to be talked to that way. Then he returned to his table.
The guy’s friend came up to Ryan and said that he could talk to his wife however he wanted and that there was nothing some faggot could do about it. So Ryan stood up and told him that he might be a fag but that he was more of a man then they will ever be because he knows how to talk to a woman. The guy punched Ryan in the face. He fell back into Nancy’s lap, but he kept getting back up to fight back (not exactly successfully, he says) until the bouncer threw that group out. For the rest of the night Ryan got drinks and anything else for free from the bar and other patrons (including a big bag of ice for his fat lip). So, he says, “I didn’t win the war (I might not even have won the battle) but I’m holding my head high this morning knowing that I stood (and kept standing back up) for that woman and any woman who had ever been treated like that.”
There are several things I love about this story:
- I don’t condone violence, but Ryan did not go over there to start a fight. He went over there to tell the girl she was amazing and deserved better. I suspect that no one had ever done that for her before. I hope it sinks in, because if her husband is treating her like this in public, heaven only knows what happens in private.
- Even after he realized that standing up for what he believed in was going to equal personal pain, he continued to stand up.
- Although he did not “win” the fight, he came away feeling proud of the person that he has become, and every patron in that bar reinforced that.
The only thing I do NOT like about this story is that the police weren’t called and the guy wasn’t charged with assault. Without that sort of legal paper trail, people like that will never be held accountable for their actions, and will never have the opportunity to learn that wives are not property that can be abused by the very fact of “ownership”.
But another thing happened with the telling of this story—I was reminded that my nephew has turned into a fine young man. My late sister would be so proud.
(Me and my favorite nephew, 2006)
The View from a Drawbridge 
Ryan, too, is an amazing person.
No doubt about it. 🙂
Lovely.
Thanks Jen. 🙂
yay
You’re feeling monosyllabic today, it seems. 🙂
yup
So often we voice our opinions on what the world is coming to and how it will survive with future generations. We look at the Starlets in and out of Rehab, the thugs and bullys in the schools, and the damage done by drugs to friends and neighbors. Yet, if we look at those groups closely, we will see their counterparts standing strong, trying to make things right and looking out for their neighbors. Even in the schools, the volunteer spirit is growing, they are stepping forward if not to include the outcasts, at least make an effort to understand them. These are the youth that will keep our country strong and ensure that we will always be part of the greatest country in the world. Be sure and compliment those that shine even when they know the odds are against them, they will continue to light up our world.
Thank You Ryan.
It’s always a relief to hear a story that reaffirms your faith in the future of mankind. It’s a pity that the media rarely finds this interesting enough to mention.