The View from a Drawbridge

My mother used to say that you can’t pick your relatives, but you can pick your friends. And among your many friends, there are always a few who stand head and shoulders above the rest. I call these “shovel friends” because they are the kind you can call up at three in the morning and say, “Meet me in Central Park, and bring a shovel,” and they’d be there, because they’re that loyal, and they know you so well that they’d be confident that you aren’t involved in something that will send them to the state penitentiary. I can’t take credit for originating this concept. I think I heard it on some reality show. But, hey, it resonates with me, and I’m not above stealing a really good idea.

I’m actually lucky enough to have several shovel friends, and they’re worth their weight in gold. They have been there for me through my highs and lows, and I have no doubt that they will be there for all my future emotional topography. But make no mistake: shovel friends aren’t, and shouldn’t be, blindly loyal. In fact, a true friend is one who will call you on your stuff. He or she won’t let you get away with silliness or stupidity, and will expect mutual respect. These friends can always be counted upon to give you the reality check that you so desperately need. The best friends are the ones who question you and challenge you.

So take a moment to tell your shovel friends how much they mean to you, because they will most likely be the most valuable relationships you’ll ever have.

(Image credit: my.opera.com