The View from a Drawbridge

We are all taught that it’s very important to make a good first impression, but I’ve had several experiences that lead me to believe that last impressions are equally important.

A few years ago I went to visit a friend from high school 25 years after we had graduated. We had a pleasant visit, but toward the end she said, “Do you still bite your nails?” I was stunned. I don’t remember ever having been a nail biter, but apparently I was. It’s kind of strange, thinking that someone has been wandering around for 25 years remembering me as, among other things, Barbara the nail biter.

When I was 26, I crossed paths with an aunt I hadn’t seen since childhood. As we prepared to go to a funeral, I noticed she was going through a lot of turmoil trying to coordinate the seating arrangements in her car. It turns out she thought I had to sit in the front seat. She didn’t want me to get car sick. That made me laugh. I hadn’t had motion sickness since I was 8 years old, but that’s the quality she attributed to me. Thank goodness I hadn’t been a bed wetter or she’d have pelted me with adult diapers.

And then there was the guy who told me recently that apparently a lot of people assumed I wandered through my Freshman year of college stoned out of my mind. That couldn’t have been further from the truth. In fact, I was quite the prude. I was just scared, shy, and in my own little world. But it makes me wonder who those people thought I was, and how it impacted the way they interacted with me. I wonder what friends I missed out on having.

Recently I’ve been feeling very misunderstood. I’m beginning to wonder how people see me, because however it is, it doesn’t seem to be how I see myself. I don’t know if I’m not expressing myself properly or giving false information, or if my sense of humor is not taken as such, but I’ve been stunned by the feedback I’ve been getting of late. Perhaps when I’m not busy biting my nails or getting stoned to avoid car sickness, I should work on that.

Anyway, it seems that the last impression you give a person can stick with him or her from there on out. The tricky thing is that you can never be sure when you will be seeing someone for the last time. When in doubt, be on your best behavior.

[Image credit: Discovermagazine.com]