The View from a Drawbridge

When I was young, Mommy Mommy jokes were all the rage. And while they were funny, I also found them rather disturbing because they were my first inkling that perhaps not all parents were thrilled with being parents. (I was lucky in that my mother never gave me that impression firsthand.) These jokes were also my first real insight that the balance of power between parent and child is extremely skewed.

I hadn’t thought about these jokes in decades, so imagine my delight in discovering that there are several websites dedicated to them. I was kind of shocked to find out that a lot of these jokes are more sick and twisted than any of the ones that were shared with me in my youth, but I’m not opposed to the sick and twisted. Ask anybody.

Having said that, here are some of my favorites from my youth from the sites in question.

• “Mommy, Mommy! Daddy’s on fire!” “Shut up and get the marshmallows!”
• “Mommy, Mommy! What’s in those CARE packages they send to Africa?” “Shut up and get back in the box!”
• “Mommy, Mommy! I don’t want to go to Australia.” “Shut up, son, and keep swimming.”
• “Mommy, Mommy! Why are we pushing the car off the cliff?” “Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father.”
• “Mommy, Mommy! I don’t want to see Niagara Falls!” “Shut up and get back in the barrel!”

And this one I most definitely did NOT hear when I was young, but it makes me laugh regardless.

• “Mommy, Mommy! What’s an orgasm?” “I don’t know, dear. Ask your father.”