The View from a Drawbridge

I was thinking today about all the really good advice/ideas/concepts that I, myself, have ignored in my lifetime. I really ought to write them on little post it notes and stick them up all over my house and review them daily. But that’s another idea that I won’t follow through on.

So without further ado, here are some pearls of wisdom that I’ve cast away at least once in my life.

• If the little voice inside your head is saying, “Don’t say it. Don’t say it…” Seriously? Don’t.
• If you’re trying to lose weight, then don’t bring the entire bag of cookies into the TV room with you.
• There’s really nothing you should say to a police officer other than, “Yes, officer.”
• If your dog is doing the pee pee dance on your landlady’s carpet, you really need to drop everything and take him for a walk. None of this, “Just give me a minute” stuff. Dogs have their own timetable.
• If you break up with a guy once, there’s no point in second chances. You’ll only break up with him again sooner or later.
• If every single solitary person you know tells you that something is a bad idea, oh yeah, it’s a bad idea.
• Take a picture of your butt when you’re 19, because someday you will miss it.
• If everyone you know tells you that they don’t like a friend of yours, sooner or later you’re going to discover that the person in question is not a friend of yours.
• It will never hurt you to actually obey the speed limit.
• There are, in fact, quite a few situations where it doesn’t pay to give someone the benefit of the doubt.
• Just get it over with.
• Never forget that things could always be a whole lot worse.
• Your dogs will always be better judges of character than you will.
• If you’re waiting for someone else to make you happy, I hope you brought a really good book with you.
• It’s a rare occasion when you leave a bar feeling better about yourself.
• Actually, it is better to hurt someone else’s feelings if it means you’ll stop torturing yourself.
• Time outs shouldn’t be just for children.
• If you spent as much time washing your dishes as you do feeling guilty about not washing your dishes, you’d have no dirty dishes.
• If you have a boss that likes to throw you under the bus, don’t wait until tomorrow to start job hunting.
• If you’re tempted to say, “You know what your problem is?” Stop right there. It never ends well.
• There will never be a better time to make love than right this minute.

And on that note, I’ve got to go. 🙂