The other night around 11 pm I was driving to work. I was on a dark, deserted commercial street, and I had stupidly left my cell phone on my night stand at home. I was preoccupied with my current predicament, which is how on earth I’m going to make next month’s rent. (I still haven’t a clue.) Suddenly out of the darkness, a big old black dog stepped directly in the path of my car. I slammed on my brakes and missed him by mere inches. He didn’t react. He just continued his slow progress across the highway as if he were heavily sedated, yet on a mission. He disappeared back into the darkness. I was shaken, but I headed to work.
For the rest of the drive, instead of thinking about my rent or lack thereof, I began wondering what I’d have done if I had hit that dog and he was injured but still alive. I had no cell phone with me. I had no idea where the nearest emergency 24 hour vet was off the top of my head, and even if I did, I had no way of knowing if this dog would cooperate with my efforts to get him into my back seat. He looked unhealthy. He was acting strangely. For all I knew he was rabid.
There were no residences nearby so I couldn’t knock on doors. It’s also not the safest neighborhood for a woman alone at night. And worse yet, I’m paid by the hour, and at a time when homelessness is a real possibility, I need every hour of work I can get. I wouldn’t have been able to notify my boss that I’d be many hours late, and that would have caused a considerable amount of consternation for the coworker who couldn’t go home until I arrived. And emergency vets generally charge you $300.00 just to walk in the door. I’d have to sell a kidney to come up with that kind of money.
Could I have at least put the dog out of its misery? Oh God. How? I don’t think so.
I’m horrified at the possibility that I would have left that dog lying there to suffer. I hope I wouldn’t have. Every fiber of my being would not have wanted to. But there were so many hurdles to jump in that situation, I don’t know. I really don’t. And I hate that.
When I got home from work, I hugged my dogs for such a long time they began to fidget. I certainly wouldn’t want someone to leave them lying on the road to suffer, but then I’d never intentionally allow them to wander around loose. I also have them neutered so they don’t produce generations of dogs that will be likely to find themselves in those sorts of situations, and I keep them healthy.
I just wish I could shake the feeling that I may have just seen something really ugly about myself. I can’t be sure. I hope I never have to find out.
[Image credit: wildculture.com]
The View from a Drawbridge 
Sometimes we all have to make hard choices. Trying to help an injured animal is a noble thing to do, but an animal in pain could attack and harm you. My daughter once stopped to help an injured dog while waiting for help to arrive and the Humane Society folks chewed her out royally for interfering and putting herself in jeopardy. Sad, and I am so happy that you did not have to make a choice.
Me too.
I have a story like this… but it involves testifying in a police brutality case I witnessed… in very weird circumstances… and I can’t get into the whole thing, but I didn’t testify… not proud of myself, but you don’t piss of the San Francisco cops and then stay in the Bay Area… just sayin’…
Yeah, I believe that. Life would be so much easier if it were strictly black and white, with no shades of grey, wouldn’t it?
Or with blissful ignorance
And a universal sense of decency and fair play.
sure… why not
I sure hope that your financial situation improves. It’s obscene for any human being to not get paid enough to have a home, food, medical care, and so on.
Keep that phone with you and the number for Animal Control.
Thank you. And yes, I learned my lesson about the phone, I hope.
Oh man. That is a tough one. I have a fear of potentially aggressive animals and sadly I don’t know if I would have the courage to get out of the car if I hit a dog. Perhaps, if without my cell phone, I would hope with all my might that nobody else would hit the dog before I had a chance to call it in when I arrived at my location. Ugh. I am also glad you did not have to make that choice. [Off topic question- I was wondering if you have a Facebook page where I could keep up with your posts? Just curious since I tend to remember to check blog posts from there more often than through my email.]
Yeah, I’m glad it is only a thought experiment. And sadly, no, although I do have a drawbridge lovers page on facebook, and will occasionally post links to my drawbridge related blog entries on there. Look us up and join us if you so desire!