At a time when I can ill afford it, I’m going to have to go buy a locked mailbox. The other day I opened mine to find a bunch of bills I had left for the postman had been ripped open, wadded up, and thrown back in the box. Nice.
And then I started calling around and discovered several things that I have mailed never reached their destination. And that mangled envelope that was supposed to contain my new library card, which I had blamed on the post office, was probably the fault of this little scumbag, too.
I say little scumbag because this is almost certainly the work of a neighborhood kid. Most adults realize that they’re not going to be able to cash checks made out to someone else, or use credit cards that haven’t been authenticated. The Hope Diamond isn’t going to be shipped through the US Postal Service. But I sure would have liked to have gotten those fun Washington State travel books I ordered on Amazon.com. I suspect he won’t be reading them.
What really ticks me off is some little jerk who can’t even shave yet is now causing me to change my life. I’ll have to drop all mail at the post office now, and buy that locked mailbox. And the sad part about it is he’ll never get caught, even though it’s a federal offense and I did file a report. I can’t afford to buy a video camera on top of everything else.
The worst part about it is that he’ll grow up and move on to cars and houses and God only knows what else, and he lives in my neighborhood, which suddenly doesn’t feel as safe as it did a few days ago. It doesn’t have to be this way. If I knew who it was, after I beat the ever-living shit out of him, I’d say, “You know, you have entrepreneurial instincts. You could really be a success in life if you turned from the dark side.”
You stupid little punk.
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