Okay guys, I’m starting to get my feet under me in this new city, and now that I’ve had a chance to lift up my head and look around me, I realize I’m lonely as hell. There. I said it. I don’t know anybody here, and while talking to my dogs helps, they tend to keep their own counsel.
Normally I’d make friends at my UU Church, but my work schedule doesn’t really allow for that at this point. I‘ve never really had to expose myself like this because up to this point a good man always seemed to cross my path just when I needed one. But I’m not getting any younger or any thinner. So I’m stuck with doing something I thought I’d never do. I’m going to put myself out there on one of those internet dating sites.
God, I feel sick even contemplating the potential rejection. But you can’t win if you don’t play, right? So the first step, I suppose, is writing a profile. I don’t know where to begin. I guess I’ll Google “Writing a Dating Profile” and see what advice I can get there.
Apparently you get a much better response by including a photo. Oh, God. Well, I may as well be honest right up front, because sooner or later the truth will out. I don’t understand people who fake their pictures on these sites. Yes, starting off with a lie will get you a first date, but it sure isn’t going to get you a second one. If someone is shallow enough to reject me based solely on appearance, I’d rather skip over that person anyway.
And I’ve noticed that a lot of women’s profiles talk mostly about their curves and their physical attributes. I refuse to do that. Sorry guys, but if that’s all you want, you couldn’t handle me.
Unfortunately, most of these sites relegate you to about 200 words. I can’t even wrap my brain around that type of restriction. How do I sum myself up in just 200 words? Here’s what I’d like to say:
Hi, my name’s Barb. I’m a 49 year old liberal, intelligent non-smoker, and I just moved to the Seattle area from Florida for a job as a bridge operator with the city. I don’t know a soul here. Sometimes I am proud about this gutsy move, and other times I think I’ve lost my marbles.
When I drove across the country, I stopped at Badlands National Park, Mount Rushmore, and Gingko Petrified Forest along the way. This is an amazingly gorgeous country we live in. I’ve been to 19 other countries, and have sorely neglected my own. I’m looking for someone to explore the city and/or state with me. I live to travel. My best trait, I think, is my curiosity. I enjoy learning and discovering.
The other day I went to Chihuly Garden and Glass and wanted to pitch a tent there. I visited the Gum Wall and thought it was gross and twisted. I loved it. Discovery Park took my breath away. The view is spectacular, but the loop road nearly killed this flatlander. I have some adjustments to make!
I’d love an epic romance, sure, but I’d be happy with a friendship, too. It feels really weird being this isolated. All the people I love most are 3100 miles away. Thank God for my dogs, but as much as I love them, they tend not to hold up their end of a conversation.
As you can see from my picture, I’m not skinny. No sense in lying about that. You’d figure it out sooner or later. If you’re looking for a Barbie Doll, I doubt we’d have much to talk about anyway.
I’m a Unitarian Universalist, which means I think everyone has their own path to walk and I’m fascinated by the many different paths that people choose. I can’t really relate to people who think their religious beliefs are the only correct ones. I guess that means I’m intolerant when it comes to intolerance.
I really enjoy watching other people do the cooking. I love eating pretty much anything except Sushi, Brussel sprouts and lima beans. I think it would be a blast to go to Pike Place Market with someone, pick out some really good ingredients, and then come home and help them create something delicious.
I like to go and do things, but I also like to read and take baths and stay at home and eat pizza and take naps with my dogs. My most embarrassing guilty pleasure is reality TV.
I don’t wear high heels or much make up. I fart and I snore and I hate it when I giggle but I think a good dry sense of humor is extremely sexy, so I’ve learned to get over myself. I’m extremely passionate when properly inspired, but I couldn’t be less interested in shallow and meaningless encounters.
I’m not really into sports. I’m also child free and smoke free and would like to keep it that way. I believe that if you’re still getting drunk in my age group, that’s probably the tip of an extremely troubled iceberg.
I’m told I’m interesting to talk to. I love to write, and maintain a daily blog. I think I tell some pretty good stories, and I love hearing other people tell them as well.
I love my job. There’s nothing better than sitting up on a drawbridge and watching the moon rise over the city, with its long silver reflection over the water. And I’ve always loved non-traditional jobs that allow me to think for myself. But in the interest of full disclosure, my work schedule is insane. I never have the same days off twice, it seems, and sometimes I work mornings and other times I work evenings, and it’s subject to change without notice. Occasionally I work ten days straight. That means I can be a bit hard to pin down. But I’d like to think I’m worth it.
So far I’m loving everything about Seattle except the traffic. I’m itching to get out there and see more of it! Care to join me?
So what do you think? Would you date me? And how do I boil myself down to 200 words? This could be an interesting writing exercise for other bloggers. “How to Shove Barb Into a Nutshell.”
Ugh. This whole vulnerability thing sucks.
The View from a Drawbridge 
Perfect as is. The ad too. Why not “like” some Seattle things and spots that appeal to your tastes, some travel groups, UU sites, and check out “Meetup” for your area. You could post on FB, and maybe the right candiDate would pop up from those. The meetup thing seems to work well for people here, you can start your own thing, join one that appeals, and there is a place to opt in for specific dates and times for groups. There also, you could do a travel or exploration or singles or book club thing. I am an advocate of ” do what charms you and have fun, and the right person will be there, see you, and be attracted to that” . Worked for me, great guns. But I never went to a ball game, or a race, or a bar. Because that was not what made me happy. Put it on your FB page, why the heck not? It is you. If you don’t want to put up the whole thing, make a catchy title and link to this blog. Bon chance!
Thanks Vicky! Since Larry’s already taken, it’s hard for the rest of us. 🙂 Frustrating thing about joining something or starting something is my erratic schedule. I can’t do things that meet every Wednesday at 2 pm, because I never know when I’m working. But there are some good ideas in there, and I’m really going to have to get creative. Yeah, I’ve heard of those meet up things. I’ll check into that for sure.
I think Vicky has some very good advice. I never did go for dating sites, too many weirdo’s and horror stories. I think you sound like an amazing woman that any man would be proud to have. If the man is into only looks, then you don’t need nor want him. I have never done dating sites, never had to as I’ve met a lot of men online, just through FB or other online sites. I would look at those dating sites and think, no way! These guys just want some booty, or like you said, a Barbie doll.
Again, Vicky seems to have some really sound advice. Good luck!
Thanks Vicky! 🙂
I think that makes you sound awesomely real and really awesome!!!
Awwww, thanks Art! Do you have any single brothers? 🙂
I do have one, actually.
Hmmmm. 🙂
yup
Excellent post!! I love your straightforwardness and candor. Just be yourself witty, honest and open to differences and changes. You appear to be a very strong person, who wouldn’t after moving across country ny yourself. If you could accomplish that, you can do anything.
Get out and continue to explore. Talk to people, be yourself and believe. You will make friends.
Just some wisdom from an almost senior woman. 🙂
Very sage advice. Thanks. I have gotten a lot of great advice here, as a matter of fact, so I have a lot to think about. I’ll keep you posted.
Here are my two cents: Meeting men in this town is HARD! It’s been a few years since I’ve been out in the dating scene, but guys here tend to sort of keep to themselves, I’ve heard. I have some friends in their 40’s who met on OK Cupid and are now married. There ARE success stories with it. I also like OK Cupid more than other sites, because I think it does a fairly good job with matching you up with like-minded people since there are millions of questions you can choose to answer. I think your ad is great, but may be a bit too wordy for a person scanning through trying to find a match. I, personally, like more information rather than less, but I think I’m in the minority there. I think trying to show the parts of you that are your strengths, is best. Maybe taking out some of the extra wordiness that flows lovely but it’s more of a story rather than an ad. I’m sure you can fine-tune the words to keep the important ones 🙂 I also really like the pic of you in front of the gum wall. If you have any pics of showing your “fun” side, I would suggest posting those. I would also be happy to do a photo shoot with you. I’d love it, actually 🙂 So, just let me know if you’d be interested in that. I don’t know many single men…actually none who live here that I would recommend, but I do have a friend who lives in California that visits pretty frequently that you might like, who’s in his 50’s.
Thinking of you and if there’s anything I can do to help you be more at home in your new “home”, please let me know!
❤
Thanks Sarah! I may take you up on that photo shoot. You are a fantastic photographer. I have to think of something. And I’m definitely open to meeting your friend.
Seriously, I would really love to do a photo shoot with you! It would be fun! Just think of things you looove to do and that makes you smile. Let’s show those Seattle men what they would be passing up if they don’t go out with you. You are adventurous so showing off that side would help you, I think 🙂
I just had a thought that it would be cool to have your pics all be “around Seattle”…like gum wall, library, pikes place, discovery park, chihuly, etc… Shows that you love to be out and about, exploring new places. I think people love to see that!
And if it weren’t getting so chilly I’d say romping in that fountain! I’ll move this convo over to facebook…
They’ll all be trying to check out the Seattle drawbridge operators now… Good luck! I hope that you will steadily increase your tribe to a good number in your new home…
Well, most of the operators are old guys, so it shouldn’t be too hard to spot me. 🙂 Thanks.