The View from a Drawbridge

The random musings of a bridgetender with entirely too much time on her hands.


The View from a Drawbridge

Oh, how I hate acronyms. They set people apart. Either you are “in the know” or you aren’t. If you aren’t, is that your fault? Are you supposed to sit around memorizing a list, in the hope that you will hit upon every acronym that crops up in your life, now and forevermore?

Here’s one I’ve come across quite a bit on the dating website I’ve recently joined: HWP. Thanks to Google, I’ve discovered that it means “Height/Weight Proportionate”. As in, “I only date HWP women.”

This infuriates me on so many levels I hardly know where to begin. Oh, but begin I shall.

Let’s start with that tricky term “proportionate”. Is there some official guide that will indicate whether I’m in proportion, or, heaven forfend, am completely out of proportion? Who gets to decide?

Must I be measured before you ask me out to determine if I fit within your narrow range of acceptability? It reminds me of those rides at the state fair. “You must be at least this height to ride this roller coaster. But what if I don’t want to ride your roller coaster?

And if you consider my body warped in some form or fashion, some other man might still find me quite physically appealing. So without getting into your improperly prioritized brain, how would I know if I meet your qualifications?

If you are a well-meaning but deluded person, here’s some advice. Never use the term HWP. Most women, since practically birth, are trained to be hyper-critical of their bodies. A lot of them will see HWP and self-eliminate, because they can anticipate the potential for rejection. So you are depriving yourself of the opportunity to meet a lot of amazing people.

Most of all, here’s what HWP means to me: You are a shallow, egotistical a**hole with values so skewed that I wouldn’t want you in my life. So thank you for revealing that to me from the get go, rather than wasting my time.


All these women weigh the same amount. All these women are beautiful. [Image credit:]

17 thoughts on “HWP

  1. That’s odd. Girls avoid me because I’m not skinny and here I read about how shallow it is to want to date sexually attractive people?

    Ask yourself this: What’s your taste in looks? Would you date someone outside of them? Have you ever been attracted to a fat guy or a short guy?

    There is a way to phrase things, of course. It shouldn’t be phrased like all women have to offer is looks (because they don’t. You can be friends with women even if you’re not attracted to them or if they ‘friendzoned’ you). But just as it’s reasonable to want your SO to have certain traits, it’s also reasonable to want them to have certain physical traits.

    Writing off people generally because of their looks is wrong.

    1. I just feel it’s important to put other qualities such as decency and integrity first, and let that take the lead in determining chemistry. Yes, there are physical aspects to that, of course. But to ask someone to fit into a certain parameter and THEN get to know them? Absurd.

      1. Maybe you put looks in second place, but I’ve seen plenty of women who won’t even consider you a potential friend (I’m not a FRIENDZONE IS BAD guy) if you’re not skinny.

        Putting high emphasis on physical attraction is not unique to males. Males are just more vocal about it (Why? That’s a different discussion but you may want to think about it for a future post).

      2. Well, I’m not writing as everywoman or everyperson. I’m writing as me. The fact that I seemed to have touched such a nerve in you makes me surprised that you don’t agree more with what I’m saying. But your results may vary.

      3. I prefer to be honest and say looks are very important, but only for romantic relationships – I won’t write off anyone because I’m not attracted to them. Good friends come from all places.

        Everyone else I’ve known places equally high importance in looks. Some don’t admit it but actions speak louder than words.

      4. I, on the other hand, have had many experiences where I haven’t been particularly attracted to someone at first, and then one day they say or do something amazing, and bam… I’m totally into them from there on out. And I’ve known many people who are like that as well. I guess it depends on the circles in which you run.

  2. This is annoying, but people are sort of hard-wired to be attracted to a certain type. We just need to find people who like out type.

    1. Well, true, Jabba the Hut could be a wonderful guy and I still couldn’t bring myself to love him, but trying to force someone into a very rigid parameter and THEN get to know them says a lot about your messed up priorities, is all I’m saying. Broaden your boundaries just a tad… you know?

      1. I am agreeing fully…

  3. lyn sutton says:

    I’ve been under and over weight. It made no difference. I was judged negatively, for both, by peoples ignorance…that’s their issue…not mine. Only judgement that matters is mine and I was never my height, weight or proportion…I’m So Much More…ISMM.

    1. Now that’s an acronym I can get behind!

  4. lyn sutton says:

    re. I’m So Much More…ISMM…we should arbitrarily make up our own acronyms and throw them at “those in the know” so they won’t be “in the know” and they won’t be able to look them up. 🙂

    1. You are on a roll today. 🙂

  5. me says:

    That is right you need to embrace unhealthiness until fat becomes sexy

    1. It is increasingly evident to physicians that weight is not a litmus test for health. Many overweight people are otherwise healthy, and many skinny people are unhealthy.
      But clearly, if you thought your comment was valid, you’d have had the courage to use your name.
      The least sexy people on earth are trolls with anger issues, which is, perhaps, why you are so alone.

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