I just watched a squirrel run down a 40 foot pine tree head first, like it was nothing. And it was nothing, for him. He probably does it a hundred times a day. I tried to imagine doing it myself, even once, and the thought made me kind of queasy.
There are a lot of natural things that I couldn’t or wouldn’t do.
- Roll poop into balls bigger than I am like a dung beetle.
- Eat rotting flesh like a vulture.
- Dive into ice laden seas like a penguin.
- Scream for hours at the top of my lungs like a howler monkey. (But it might actually be quite spiritually cleansing to do it for a minute or two.)
- Echolocate like a dolphin or a bat.
- Slam my head into a rival like a ram. (I heard a great quip on Welcome to Night Vale the other day: “Dodge Ram. Great car. Even better advice.”)
- Eat the head off my partner like a praying mantis. (Or eat the head off anything or anyone, for that matter.)
- Remain pregnant for 23 months like an elephant.
- Mate for life like a swan.
- Chase down something, catch it, tear it to shreds and eat it raw like so many creatures do.
- Stay outside in horrible weather like most animals do at some time or another.
- Lay an egg. Or sit patiently on a nest and count on my partner to bring me food.
- Shed my skin all at once.
- Chew through (often chemically treated) wood like a mouse.
Nature is awesome. I’m glad we have yet to succeed in destroying it in all its many forms. But I’m also glad I’m me.



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