On Being Off Grid

My laptop has been circling the drain for many months now. It was booting up at a snail’s pace, and then freezing up every minute or two, regardless of what software I happened to be using at the time. It was beyond frustrating. You’d think, living in the techno-savvy Seattle area, I’d have tons of friends who could help me with my dilemma, but noooo… As per usual, I was on my own.

I knew that when I started to seriously contemplate throwing the damned thing in the canal or using it as a very expensive door stop, something had to be done. But that would mean taking it into a shop. And that was akin to cutting off my oxygen supply.

You see, I don’t have a smart phone, or a tablet, or any other device that would keep me connected to the wider world. Without my laptop, I don’t even have any way to watch “TV”, because I left my TV on the curb out of utter frustration about 5 moves ago, and haven’t had one since. And I knew that the repair folks could potentially hold on to my electronic baby for a few days.

So, with a virtual tear in my eye, I abandoned my child with a total stranger. And then I got home and nearly panicked. What does one do without internet? I couldn’t respond to comments on my blog, or make snide remarks on Facebook. When a question popped into my head, I had no way to answer it.

My laptop is also my main source of entertainment. Fortunately, I had the foresight to go to the library and check out a book. And heaven knows that my new house is overflowing with home improvement projects just screaming my name.

So I took a nap.

And then I woke up. I was thinking of ordering pizza. But I had no way to get the number to the pizza place. I could starve to death without my laptop.

This was ridiculous. I managed to live half my life without internet. I didn’t know what I was missing. I got along just fine. But I had phone books and encyclopedias and maps. I’m convinced that if the grid went dark, a good portion of humanity would be rendered incapable of life itself. That’s rather sad, when you think about it.

One thing was certain: If I didn’t get off my butt and find something to do, I was going to freak myself out. So I started doing home improvement projects.

I cut and put up 7 shelves. I hung a cork board and a coat rack. I installed a doorbell. I cut dowels to put in my windows for added security. I put up my rain chain. I planted some concord grapes and some flowers.

And then the phone rang, and it was the repair guy saying that they had replaced my corrupted hard disc and removed an impressive amount of dog hair and dust from my fan, and I could come get my laptop.

So my baby is back in my loving arms, after serious surgery. Now all that’s left to do is reinstall all the software that I lost. And that sucks, because for the life of me, I can’t find my Microsoft Office product key and really, really, really don’t feel like paying 175 bucks to replace it.

Dependencies on top of dependencies…

But really, I did get a lot more done than usual, and I’d forgotten how much I miss reading actual books. Maybe I should have computer-free days every now and then. It would do me good.

Oh, who am I kidding?

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If you feel like reading an actual book, try mine! http://amzn.to/2mlPVh5

2 thoughts on “On Being Off Grid

  1. lyn sutton

    At least you know what Quagmire’s up to when you’re gone…watching you tube dance videos and shaking his fur off all over your lap top… 🙂

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