The View from a Drawbridge

At the risk of sounding completely unhinged, I’m beginning to think my dog Quagmire has supernatural powers. I’ve written time and again about his ability to conjure up a variety of different food from seemingly nowhere. (Check out my most recent post about that, which will in turn link you to all the others.)

This time, we were lounging in the back yard. I was reading a book, and he was snoring in my lap. Suddenly he woke up, yawned, jumped down, and toddled over to the shed. He did a quick jog around the tiny structure, and when he came out the other side, he was carrying a cherry tomato.

Please understand that there is nothing behind the shed except some more back yard. I swear it. I had been back there an hour previously. It was cherry tomato-less at the time. He just ran behind the shed the way a magician swings his cape, and poof! He invoked a tomato. He was rather proud of himself (as well he should be).

He also does things like disappear. He’s sleeping beside me in bed. I’m reading. I get to the end of the chapter. I look up. He’s gone. The bed is still warm, but he’s sound asleep in the living room.

And he sees things that aren’t there. He barks at them viciously. He growls. He’s very protective of me, which is nice. But I must say it’s no fun when he does this at 3 a.m.

I suspect he can levitate, too, because he often gets ahold of things that should have been out of his reach. Dachshunds are nothing if not vertically challenged. But it doesn’t seem to slow him down. He once brought me something I was pretty sure I had left on top of the refrigerator.

And when anyone besides me crosses my threshold, he manages to turn into a Rottweiler. Just ask my extremely tolerant next door neighbor. He went for her calf and she has the scars on her leg to prove it.

This dog makes it impossible for me to have guests. He’s completely out of control. But when it’s just the two of us, he’s the sweetest thing ever. He’s the bane of my existence, and he’s also my best friend. I love him. That’s one heck of a magic trick.

Read any good books lately? Try mine! http://amzn.to/2mlPVh5