The View from a Drawbridge

I never had kids. I never wanted them. I have no regrets there.

What I do have, though, is all this advice based on my life experience, and no one to give it to. It sometimes feels like the advisory pressure within me is building up to the point that it will erupt at an unplanned moment, leaving utter destruction and chaos in its wake.

This is probably why I blog. It helps relieve the pressure. And who knows? Maybe it might do some good.

So here is some advice that has been percolating to my surface of late. Take it or leave it.

• Listen.

• Be as discerning when choosing a boyfriend as you would be when hiring an employee. You deserve nothing less than the most qualified person for the job.

• Wear layers.

• If someone does not respect you, that person is not your friend. If you aren’t being respected, you aren’t being loved.

• There are consequences to every choice you make.

• If you make a mistake and can fix it, do so and don’t tell anyone. If you can’t fix it, then own up to it and take your medicine. (Thanks, mom, for that one.)

• Listen to your inner voice. Trust your instincts. Take note of red flags.

• Vote.

• If your friend is cruel to others, eventually he or she will be cruel to you.

• Never pass up an opportunity to learn something new.

• Eat your vegetables.

• If the egg salad smells like it has gone bad, assume it has gone bad.

• Be polite, but don’t allow yourself to be bullied.

• Get outside and feel the sun on your face.

• You are perfectly capable of learning anything that you need to know.

• Read.

• Smile in photographs. Otherwise you’ll look pathetic.

• Do the right thing.

• Be as kind to yourself as you are to others.

• Don’t look to others to solve your problems, but don’t be afraid to ask for help.

• You’ve been given a perfectly good day. Try to make the most of it.

• Floss.

• Keep your promises.

• Never act weaker or more stupid than you are.

• Don’t take yourself too seriously.

• Before sending that nasty e-mail, sleep on it and read it again in the morning.

• Travel.

• Give credit where credit is due.

• Strike a healthy balance between saving for your future and living in the now.

• When your body tells you it’s full, stop eating.

• Those popular mean girls will be overweight and incapable of trading on their looks in about 20 years. Trust me. Just wait.

• Recycle.

• Never trust someone who is cruel to animals.

• You can tell a lot about a man by how he treats his mother. (But allow for the fact that some mothers are toxic and crazy.)

• Measure twice. Cut once.

• Things usually get better. And then they get worse. It’s a pendulum. Have patience, and it will swing back the other way eventually.

• Value relationships and experiences, not stuff.

• The world does not revolve around you.

• Worrying doesn’t ever help.

• Take a picture of your beautiful butt now. It’s a safe bet that some day you will miss it.

• Get a full night’s sleep.

• Give sincere compliments every chance you get.

• Be considerate. Show up early.

• Don’t live way out in the country if pizza delivery matters to you.

• Eat local. Shop at farmers’ markets.

• Wait your turn.

• Don’t forget to breathe.

• Every once in a while, look skyward and say thank you.

• Accept change. Unless that change is destructive. Then be the change.

• Go for a career that makes you happy and proud, not one that makes you rich.

• Give yourself a break sometimes.

  

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