I just watched the most heartrending 12 minutes of video I think I’ve ever seen in my life. If I Could Bark is about all the things you would say to your dog if you both spoke the same language. It’s about how much our dogs mean to us. It gets right to the very soul of the matter. It’ll make you want to hug the stuffing out of your dog.
So, what would I say to Quagmire if I could bark?
You are my best friend.
Sometimes you pull me back from the brink of a deep, dark depression just by being there.
You keep me warm at night, from the inside out.
Thank you for listening.
You make me feel loved.
I wish you could tell me all that you’ve been through, because I know it’s been a lot, and I want to comfort you.
You are what makes this house a home.
I’m every bit as happy to see you as you are to see me.
Sorry for putting antlers on you every Christmas. (Not really, though.)
Some people want me to give up on you, but I never will.
I will always take care of you. Always.
You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life.
I live to make you feel safe.
For heaven’s sake, stop barking so much. I get it. Someone is on our sidewalk. I’ve got it under control.
You are the best dog in the entire world.
I’m lucky to have you.
I can’t imagine life without you, but I know that day will come, and I dread it.
If I could keep only one thing in my world, I’d choose you. You are precious to me.