The View from a Drawbridge

The random musings of a bridgetender with entirely too much time on her hands.

A lifetime ago, I was traveling with a friend and having a wonderful time. But at one point I did mention to her that I missed my boyfriend. (I can’t even remember who the guy was, which tells you a lot about the passage of time.) To my shock, my friend got really, really angry with me.

Apparently, she was of the opinion that if you are busy missing someone, you can’t also be enjoying yourself, and I was therefore allowing myself to spoil the trip. To this day, I can’t relate to that mindset at all.

You see, when I am having a great experience, that’s when I tend to miss people the most, because I would dearly love to have the people I care most about with me to share in those joyful times. I can’t imagine thinking otherwise. It seems like a natural conclusion to draw.

I’m not going to start avoiding the good times, just so I won’t miss my loved ones. That would be absurd. And besides, I don’t think that yearning for someone’s company is necessarily a negative emotion.

I genuinely believe that I am lucky to have people that I miss. It means I’ve built up strong relationships over the years. It means that there are people who matter a great deal to me. It means that I know what it is to love.

Life will take you to many places. Sometimes the people most significant to you will be unwilling or unable to follow. They have their own journeys, after all. And sometimes their lives will be cut short, leaving you to forge a path on your own.

So cherish the missing. Revel in the fact that you have someone to miss. Be glad that love is a part of your life. What a gift! It doesn’t get any better than that.


An attitude of gratitude is what you need to get along. Read my book!

4 thoughts on “So Lucky to Miss You

  1. Angiportus says:

    Agree several hundred percent about the “feelings police”. I’ve sent a few of them packing. The ones who tell you that what you feel is impossible, as if one can’t have conflicting feelings (e.g. enjoying a place while missing a person, or vice versa), and the ones who try to tell you when you “should” be thru mourning someone [or something], or what is worthy of mourning/missing/celebrating. And so on. Sure, one should try to put some thought into one’s life, examine what one feels, but sometimes you just can’t help feeling something and shouldn’t be guilt-tripped about it. And the morons who say that the missed one was “only” a [platonic friend, pet, place, thing, etc….] deserve no mercy.
    I read somewhere that after a while the pain of losing someone/something will be replaced by the joy of having once known them/it. I think I’ve reached that point with a few. But that “friend” of yours was way out of line!

    1. Well said, Angi! And that friend and I have long since drifted apart.

  2. Somebody says:

    If you’re lucky, you’ll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.

    1. I suspect I’ll be that lucky. Thanks, Somebody!

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