Civil Trade War

So now Trump thinks Canada is a security risk? Oh, come on. Those people won’t even jaywalk at an intersection. Seriously. There could be no cars for miles, and they’d still patiently wait for the crossing signal.

Trump imposing tariffs on Mexico, Canada, and the European Union is like walking up to your three best friends in the school yard and punching them each in the throat. Just ‘cuz.

As if we weren’t already convinced that this man is an idiot, he now decides to do something that has absolutely no upside, even for him. But oh, yeah, it certainly has taken our focus off of Russia, hasn’t it? He does like to stir shit up.

Smoke and mirrors. It’s all smoke and mirrors. The next election can’t come fast enough.

For some reason, though, a lot of people don’t quite get (yet) what a global pissing match Trump has just set off. So let’s scale it down a bit for easier comprehension.

Let’s say the Governor of Maine doesn’t like the Governor of Georgia. So Maine decides to impose a tariff on all peaches. This means that it gets a lot more expensive for Georgia to get their peaches to consumers in Maine. This causes the Governor of Georgia’s head to explode, and he says, “Fine! We are now putting a tariff on Lobsters! Take that!”

Well, messing with Lobsters in Maine is like touching the third rail. This cannot be borne! So Maine says, okay, now we’re going to put a tariff on airplanes. (You may not know this, but Georgia’s top export is airplanes.)

But hold on. Airplanes are also the top export in California, Arizona, Washington, Kansas, Oklahoma, Louisiana, Arkansas, Ohio, Kentucky, North Carolina, Florida, and Connecticut. So they all sit up tensely and blink, too. What’s going to happen next? They all start looking around to see how they can hurt other states who might hurt them. Everyone is poised for battle.

That’s really how the civil war started. Only back then, the commodity was slaves. Not only won’t we buy your slaves, but you can’t have them either. And before we knew it, hundreds of thousands of Americans were dead.

This trade war? Worst idea ever. Thanks, Trump. Way to go.

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4 thoughts on “Civil Trade War

  1. lyn sutton

    Isn’t it a risk to our national security to unjustly blame, punish and alienate our faithful allies? Shouldn’t a person responsible for a country whose name begins with united make unity, within his country and with his allies, a top priority? “United we stand…divided we fall,” isn’t just a saying, it’s a proven truth. So why are we allowing the person given the honor and privilege of the highest office to use it’s power to divide it’s citizens and allies for his personal gain? These continued attempts to divide within and without are the real national security risks.

  2. lyn sutton

    I apologize to all Canadians for the offensive accusation that they pose a national security risk to my country or that you burned down the White House in 1814. (We know that the British did the burning but we’ve forgiven and moved on. Someone must not have gotten the memo.) Please know that most rational Americans know how ridiculous and insulting these accusations are and that we value our friendship with your country.

    Just felt someone should officially apologize to Canada since the current administration will never own their mistakes. You know someone must be scraping the bottom of desperation if they stoop to blaming Canada. 🙂

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