The Great Cupcake Caper

So, we had cupcakes at our wedding. Several dozen. Lemon, Apple Crisp, and Salted Caramel, from PinkaBella CupCakes. (Highly recommended. Good enough to make you swoon.)

My husband is very environmentally conscious, so he brought a trash can to our outdoor venue, and afterwards he brought it home, full of cupcake debris. Plates. Cupcake liners. Napkins. He wanted to make sure that we left the park as pristine as we found it. It’s part of his charm.

During all the excitement in the aftermath of our wedding, that trash got left in our garage for later disposal. We were too busy celebrating with out of town guests to think about it much.

Unfortunately, we also forgot about the slow-moving iceberg that is Junior, our big, old, deaf, Australian Shepherd. He tends to drift from pillar to post, often under foot. Being deaf, he can’t really respond to voice commands. He is smart, though, and knows hand signals. But mostly we kind of let him do his sweet old thing and hope for the best.

But did I mention that he’s smart? He knows how to float under the radar. Often you’ll turn around and there he’ll be, right behind you. Smiling. It can be very disconcerting.

So, it took us quite some time to realize that Junior was missing while we were catching up with our guests. After a quick search, we discovered that he must have quietly followed someone into the garage, and then stayed behind when that person came back into the house.

And he certainly enjoyed his “me time”, because when we went in there, there was cupcake garbage from one end of the room to the other, and there was Junior, grinning from ear to ear, basking in a sugar high of epic proportions.

Fortunately, he didn’t consume any chocolate, but still, frosting and paper is probably not part of the canine food pyramid. (Unless you consult said canines, of course.)

We watched him closely the rest of the evening. But he was happy as a clam, and when it came time for sleep, he tucked himself in on his bed beside ours, and off we all went to dreamland. All was right with the world.

That is, until about 2 a.m. That’s when I heard this noise that I’m really impressed could be produced by a living creature. It was like a belch on steroids. BurrrrrrrrRawwwwuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrughhhhhhhhhh.

I thought at first that I was having a nightmare. And then the room filled with the smell of frosting. It even woke dear husband out of a sound sleep, and believe you me, that takes effort.

I was kind of afraid to look. Because I wasn’t sure if it was a belch. Visions of… well, let’s not talk about it. You might be reading this over breakfast or something.

Fortunately, it turns out that this horrifying noise did not produce a deposit of any kind. But just to be on the safe side, dear husband took him outside for a bit. I just lay there and giggled helplessly until they returned. (And long after that, if I’m honest.)

Every belch has its silver lining, though, because I was beating myself up over the fact that I’d no doubt be indulging in entirely too many leftover cupcakes in the week to come, but this little caper put me off cupcakes for, oh, at least a week and a half. So we gave away the ones that remained.

I’m sure Junior is heartbroken.


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5 thoughts on “The Great Cupcake Caper

  1. Angiportus

    My dad was a dog person, and he once had this black poodle. He took a nap with the dog curled on the floor beside him and the dog farted and woke him right up!
    Many years before, I lived in a house with these electric heaters, and these for some unknown reason would occasionally let loose a thunderous growl–one time waking me up, another time scaring me out of the bathtub into a front-room-full of my parents’ guests.
    But I think your story tops the lot.

  2. Deborah Drake

    Dear You, I read your post to Dan and he couldn’t stop laughing. “She’s a good writer…” And, so I said, Yes. You. Are. Miss you. So happy for you.

  3. Pingback: A Hilarious Throwback – The View from a Drawbridge

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