The View from a Drawbridge

The random musings of a bridgetender with entirely too much time on her hands.

During my wedding ceremony, one of the things I said to my husband-to-be was, “You’re the more cautious one.” Afterward, a friend came up to me and expressed her total shock about that. In a nice way. She’s a pure delight. But the implication was that she found it really hard to imagine that anyone could be more cautious than I am.

That, to me, is really fascinating.

Okay, standing beside that friend, I’m sure I come off as shy and retiring. She’s amazing. She’s colorful. She’s larger than life. Total strangers will stop her on the street to talk to her. (Which is wonderful, unless you’re with her and happen to be in a hurry.) She lights up every room that she enters. She’s got that indescribable “it” factor. Rock on, my friend!

But my being quiet, thoughtful, and ever-so-slightly slower moving does not necessarily equate with caution. Let’s review:

I’ve been to 19 countries.

I lived in Mexico, all alone, when I was 19.

I spent a summer away from home, doing construction work on an Air Force Base, when I was 16.

I used to camp deep in the forests of Appalachia, a week at a time, with only my dogs for company.

I survived a childhood of sexual abuse.

I have met several friends face to face that I had previously only known on line.

I worked graveyard shift, in total isolation, for 13 years.

I sold my house and moved three hours south, where I knew no one, to go back to college.

I started over, yet again, moving 3100 miles from Florida to Seattle, at age 49. It was a place where I had never been, and where I knew no one.

I managed not to have children despite intense societal pressure.

I got married for the first time at age 53.

Have poured my heart and soul out in this daily blog since 2012, revealing things about myself that many people wouldn’t even have told their best friends.

I’ve published a book.

None of this sounds particularly cautious to me.

I may not be flamboyant or loud or outgoing, but does that mean I’m cautious? Hell to the no!

Brave Cat

6 thoughts on “Cautious? Me?

  1. lyn sutton says:

    Maybe you’re gracious enough to let her shine when in her company because you sense she needs that kind of attention more than you. She may seem larger than life but you’ve actually lived a large life. Your less self absorbed friends know the real you and that’s what matters.

    1. Nah, Lyn, she’s pretty awesome. She doesn’t need the attention. She just draws people to her. But yeah, I have lived a large life. I highly recommend it!

      1. lyn sutton says:

        I get that. I’ve a son like that. Raising him forced me to live large just keeping up with him. Actually, having children involves multiple risks… physically, financially, psychologically… every decision you make regarding them is a gamble. It’s quite unpredictable. 🙂

      2. Better you than me, there.

  2. Carole Lewis says:

    I’ll second that. Although I didn’t know all the details, the moment I met Barb, I knew there was so much more that I would never know. To myself she is ” The Onion Girl.” Every glimpse she reveals to us gifts us with her uniqueness. I am a female “WALTER MITTY”, but Barb is the real deal.

    1. Hardly a Walter Mitty when you jump out of airplanes, my dear friend! And as long as I don’t SMELL like an onion, I’ll wear that nickname with pride.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: