Feeling Low and Looking Lower

I’m still struggling with the final, bitter dregs of this illness. I’m beginning to wonder if I’ll ever feel human again. Am I recovering slower because I’m getting older, or because bugs are becoming more insidious and diabolical? I don’t plan on looking into that very deeply, because neither conclusion would be pleasant. Bleh.

In times like these, I tend to want to look back at even more awful periods in my life. No, I’m not a masochist. I just like to remind myself that I survived that, so I’ll survive this.

So while lying here in a stupor, encased in flannel, I suddenly remembered a time, not too long ago, when I was in such dire straits that I actually had to start a crowdfunding campaign to get me through. I learned a lot from that experience. It was humiliating. It was heartwarming. I’ve never been more vulnerable in my entire life. It showed me who my friends really were. And it taught me how important it is to pay it forward.

Check out my blog post entitled The Fine Art of Begging to get all the details. You can also find it in my first book. And as a follow up, I’ll say that I’m still not in contact with those relatives who thought I was an embarrassment to the family, and I don’t miss them at all. And I have paid it forward every chance I’ve gotten, and will continue to do so for as long as I live.

Sending you love and light, dear reader, and hoping that I’ll be back amongst the living very soon.

Light at the end of the tunnel
See? There IS a light at the end of the tunnel!

2 thoughts on “Feeling Low and Looking Lower

  1. Lyn

    Sorry you’re still feeling low and hope you heal soon. Glad to see you’re on the up side of your life’s journey otherwise. None of us reach the heights we seek alone. Looking back at where we came from gives a perspective we often miss while we are immersed in the inertia of a comfortable now. Here’s NASA’s view: https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=28&v=rgBKFEeXfww&feature=emb_logo from the SDO ultra high definition video section… thanks for the link.

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