Only in Denmark…

…could you make a children’s show about a magic penis.

I love being of Danish descent. It gives me cause to take note of all things Danish, and even though I’ve yet to have the opportunity to visit that country, I can tell that I would like the people. Danes have a very unique way of living and thinking that can sometimes be shocking but is more often delightful.

It’s unfair to pigeonhole an entire nation, but based on my observations, albeit from a remove, the Danish qualities discussed in this article entitled, “5 Danish traits you should embrace to improve your life” seem pretty spot on.

  • Danes respect privacy. They are not busybodies or conspiracy theorists.
  • Danes don’t mince words. They are straight shooters. They get to the point.
  • Danes never hesitate to express their opinions. What you see is what you get.
  • Danes hate to be late. But they also hate to waste time in overlong meetings.
  • Danes can be very sarcastic.

These are my people, for sure. Being surrounded by others with these traits would be a refreshing change after having tried to fit in in the Pacific Northwest, where people find my directness, honesty, and sarcasm very off-putting. I’d rather hang with people who show all their cards than with those who keep them hidden, which keeps you guessing. When people leave you no room for doubt, it reduces gossip, because whatever you might say is already out there. It’s a relief.

According to the World Population Review, Denmark is the second happiest country on earth. Finland is the only country that surpasses them. I would love to live in Denmark, at least in the warmer months.

Given the Danish propensity for being wide open, and not getting worked up over silly things, it does not surprise me at all that in 2021 they created a children’s show called John Dillermand. It’s a claymation show for kids from ages 4 to 8. It’s about a man with a magic, prehensile penis that can be as much as 20 feet long, based on personal observation. Check out the show’s funny intro below, and then go here to listen to a review of the show by CBC’s As It Happens.

John can use this appendage to walk a dog, pick things up from a distance, and even fly.  He can bounce into the air, using his penis like a spring. Diller is slang for penis in Danish. Kind of like wiener here. Kids love to laugh at penis slang.

As you can see from the picture below, you can’t really tell that this penis is a penis. It’s not anatomically correct. It is funny, not at all sexual. Teaching children to feel shame about a natural human inclination toward sexuality is what creates warped, twisted abusers. There should be no shame attached to body parts.

Oftentimes John Dillerman’s magic penis has a mind of its own, though, and gets him into trouble. He then has to figure out how to turn the situation around. All the short episodes from the first season seem harmless and funny and full of moral lessons. The creators consulted with a child psychologist to make sure that kids wouldn’t misinterpret the message. And it does indeed seem to be quite popular amongst the 4 to 8 set. Another season is planned.

I would love to watch this show. It is cute and funny and doesn’t body shame. It appeals to the Dane within me. But my puritanical American side does tend to overthink it. For example, teaching children that a man’s penis is out of control, and that what it does is not really the man’s fault is, well, disturbing. I could see where pedophiles could use this show to groom children.

But honestly, sometimes claymation is just claymation. I really doubt kids would see the nefarious undertones if we warped adults weren’t present to clue them in. And I’m confident that children know the difference between claymation and real life. I’d rather that children explore, and then get over, their penis fascination in a controlled and healthy environment, rather than out there in the world where things could turn ugly very easily.

I like that this show is making parents have straightforward conversations with their children. From what I can see, this is a harmless, silly kid’s show, and it won’t become a thing if we don’t make it a thing. So let’s not make it a thing.

Love it or hate it, a show like this could only be made in Denmark. It’s just too (pardon the expression) “in your face” to be able to be shown here in uptight America. I mean, if the radical right saw evil intent in the Teletubbies, imagine what they’d make of a penis that can steal a hamburger off the neighbor’s bar-b-cue.

Like the way my weird mind works? Then you’ll enjoy my book!


Author: The View from a Drawbridge

I have been a bridgetender since 2001, and gives me plenty of time to think and observe the world.

One thought on “Only in Denmark…”

  1. Wake me up when they have a show about his female counterpart. Seriously, though, an amusing conceit.

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