Have you ever stumbled out of a dark period in your life, on wobbly legs, feeling like a newborn deer, only to be blinded by the extreme discovery that everything around you has kept right on going, and now you’re forced to catch up? That feeling can be brought on by recovery after a catastrophic illness, or by lifting up your head for the first time after the worst period of mourning, or by emerging from a deep dark depression, or (I can only speculate) by being released from prison.
Just because life has stopped for you does not mean that it has stopped for anyone else. It’s very disconcerting to realize that your bills still need to be paid, and in fact, they’re stacking up. Things (and relationships) have fallen into disrepair or have sunken beneath several layers of dust. Laundry and dishes need doing, and it’s probably a good idea to see if your car still starts. Even if you haven’t kept up with current events, those events have managed to soldier on without you.
Since our consciousness resides within us, it’s not unreasonable to assume that even the most humble people on earth, at some fundamental level, see themselves as being at the center of it all. But when you close up shop for an extended period, you quickly find out, upon opening up again, that you’re actually on the periphery. We all are, to a certain extent. Think of it as a centrifugal force thing.
I don’t know about you, but this makes me question reality. Or at least, the significance of my reality and how it fits in to the overall scheme of things. Because I’m only now learning that we all have our own sense of what is real, and two (or more) truths can exist at the same time. It’s not fun to realize that the ground isn’t solid after all, and that stability is an artificial construct.
Just a tiny serving of existentialism to have with your morning coffee, dear reader. Bon appetit.
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