One thing I’m sure that every American can agree upon is that this country is more polarized than ever before. It’s beyond frustrating when you hear someone say something that is easily debunked, and yet even when you present them with documentation, statistics, quotes, and/or whatever other tangible proof you have that they have been misled, they still hold onto their fallacy with a white-knuckled grip. I imagine them clinging to a rope for dear life, while blindfolded, and singing, “La la la la la! I can’t HEAR you…”
This type of conflict is particularly maddening for people like me who are on the autism spectrum. Facts are our happy place. And facts derived from science? Even more so. (Oh, but conspiracy theorists hate science! They’re too enamored with their chem trails to embrace science.)
Many autistic people communicate in packets of information. Facts are solid, dependable packets of information for us. So it can be extremely confusing when people reject facts, especially if it’s for no other reason than that they just don’t want to change. I have struggled to understand people like this for years.
Fortunately, a friend of mine (Hi, Strummie!) recently posted something on his Facebook page that I found to be so profound that I asked if I could share it on my blog. He graciously said that I could. This explanation makes more sense than anything else I’ve read about this subject. Does it solve polarization? No. But it certainly makes it much more understandable. I hope it resonates with you, too.
“There is a Trump fan in my family who persistently recites talking points regarding the views and objectives of that ilk. I do not take the bait, of course, and generally do not respond, which has also been my general life-vibe. And even though I disagree with the way this person spouts their regurgitated “beliefs” ad infinitum while I’m in their presence, I do feel really bad for them at the end of the day. I’m beginning to realize that the reason they are so insistent on pushing these talking points onto myself and others is not necessarily because they believe in those ideas themselves, but instead they are realizing what they believe is not 100% accurate. So, they would rather convert someone else to their way of thinking than to climb down that tree and have a conversation on the ground. They think that if they admit they were wrong it is an act of weakness. I know from experience that it is the ultimate act of courage.
“By repeating the talking points, they can remain comfortable with their “beliefs” by attempting to surround themselves with individuals who will believe the exact same thing. And that’s sad. My advice is to consider that sad reality the next time you encounter ANYONE who is pushing a set of views on you. “Views” should be yours and yours alone to develop based on your own experiences and responses, not some pundit. Be the MOST respectful to the people who insist you are their enemy for not believing what they believe. That form of respect, I think, is the decency we must exhibit in order to save America from the numerous foreign and domestic entities that seek to divide us. Voting your conscience is just a piece of the path to saving the best country on earth. Stop arguing, that’s what they want. Let’s be decent to each other and foster visible reasons for why we are in fact not the enemy, but the ally – waiting with understanding and forgiveness in our hearts and minds.”
So, dear reader, if pride is more important than truth, I can only imagine two possible outcomes. 1) As more and more people gather the courage to swallow their pride and return to the realm of facts and start exercising their atrophied critical thinking muscle, it will become increasingly difficult for the outliers to remain on Fantasy Island, until someday it is all but uninhabited. That’s the outcome I hope for. Unfortunately, there’s another possibility. 2) This polarization may take a few generations to fix (if we haven’t already destroyed everything by then). We may have to wait until those people pass away, leaving younger generations who weren’t caught up in this mess of hatred and misinformation to take the helm.
In the meantime, the understanding and forgiveness that my friend mentions will have to suffice. So now, I get to struggle with that. Yay. At least it’s more palatable than living in a constant state of confusion about why people adamantly reject reality.
And I can almost hear the comments now. “How do YOU know that you are on the side of facts as opposed to the side of delusion?”
Allow me to retort. When someone says, “Look it up,” I’m one of those rare people who actually does.
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