As an autistic person, I have been misunderstood my whole life. That alone is exhausting, but it’s even worse in the workplace, because this is my livelihood that we’re talking about, so these misunderstandings have the potential of being catastrophic for me. There’s a reason that only 40% of all autistics can hold down a job. It’s not that we’re not capable of contributing to the gross national product. It’s more about us not being accommodated in ways that allow us to bring our unique talents to the table.
It would be helpful if my coworkers in general, but my managers and HR people in particular, got some neurodivergence training. Unfortunately, there’s an extra layer of complexity to the issue because no two neurodivergent people are the same. They have different learning and communication styles, different sensory sensitivities, different strengths, and different needs.
I’ve looked at all of the available training on the subject that my employer offers, and the only one that comes close to being of actual value is a film called “Hiring and Supporting Neurodiversity in the Workplace”. Unfortunately, this training is geared toward HR Managers only, and therefore the HR bits may turn off other types of employees, even though there are gems to be found there if you pay attention. Instead of, or in addition to, this training, I can recommend several videos that will give you more insight into what it’s like to be neurodivergent for many of us. I’ll include the links below.
I can make this blanket statement, though. If we’ve “come out” as neurodivergent in the workplace, that means that we are willing to talk about it. So….
TALK TO US.
I know it can be awkward to start such a conversation at first, because our culture is biased toward thinking there is some sort of shame in being neurodivergent, or that, since it’s invisible to the naked eye, we must be making everything up and/or it’s not a subject that needs to be taken seriously. Those assumptions have done nothing but complicate things for us.
Unfortunately, at least in my experience, no one, not one single person in the workplace, has ever been willing to discuss the subject. Even when I wear my “I don’t struggle with autism. I’m actually very good at it” T-shirt. Silence. When that happens, I feel like you don’t want to really know me. It makes me feel like you’d much rather hang onto your bias than take the time to learn what makes me tick. It’s very disappointing.
Again, I can’t speak for every neurodivergent person, but here are some things, both good and bad, that it would be very helpful if employers understood about me:
- I have a unique perspective, so I can often provide unique solutions to work issues.
- I have innovative ideas.
- I’m quick to spot inconsistencies or breaks in patterns.
- I actually can adapt to change as long as the reason for this change is explained to me. (In other words, if you keep me in the dark about certain aspects of the change, or you have no logical explanation for it, I’m going to struggle.)
- I may appear emotionless and robotic at times but on the contrary, if anything, I feel things even more intensely than the average person. I just don’t express it in ways that a neurotypical person will be able to relate to.
- I am a great person to run ideas past, because I can quickly spot any potential trouble spots in the process that, if resolved, will make your ideas even more successful.
- I have a great need to know the “why” of things. Otherwise, I struggle to let go of a topic, and I’ll keep asking questions until I understand.
- I am not very flexible if processes that have always worked just fine are changed with no explanation and show no evidence of improving things.
- I’m not good at making eye contact. That can be off-putting for some people, but it’s nothing personal. I’m listening whether I look at you or not.
- I’m not very good at reading facial expressions or body language.
- I don’t do well with ambiguity. If you really want me to do something, don’t make me read between the lines or gently allude to something. Just come right out with it. It will save us both quite a bit of frustration.
- In most cases, I tend to take things literally, so if you’re just joking about something, you might have to say so.
- It takes me longer than a neurotypical person to process information. That does not mean I’m less intelligent, but it can sometimes appear that way, because if I’m forced to quickly respond to something, I get overwhelmed and it often renders me mute. Showing your impatience will only prolong my muteness. If you give me time to mull something over, I can then give you a well-thought-out response.
- I spend the whole day masking my disability in order to try (usually unsuccessfully) to fit in. Why do I do this? Because I’ve been bullied my whole life. People have been impatient with me my whole life. People have misunderstood me my whole life. So yes, I mask. But it’s exhausting.
- Because masking is so exhausting, I am often in a state of autistic burnout. I therefore guard my home time jealously. I’m not someone who will check work emails at home or attend zoom meetings at home, because by the time I get home, I can barely function.
- As you can see by this blog post, I communicate differently than a neurotypical person. I like to have all the information, and I communicate that way, too, so I know my long emails can be annoying to you, but I’m going to give you every single detail. That’s how my mind works.
- Lately, I’ve started putting the most important bits of information in my emails in bold font, in hopes that at least those portions won’t be ignored, because I am constantly shocked when people don’t answer questions or respond to emails. It affects my morale. I wouldn’t ask questions if I didn’t need to know.
- I have been told I “push back too much”, and I’ve been called the following names even though they couldn’t be further from the truth. These names are the result of the wider world misinterpreting my neurodiversity and my good intentions. They are not the result of me being a dysfunctional person. I am not a Drama Queen, Attention-Seeker, or a Know-It All. Nor am I Stubborn, Childish, or Trouble-Making.
Through the microaggressions that I experience on a daily basis, I am well aware that people find me irritating, frustrating and/or boring. Perhaps you wouldn’t if you took the time to understand neurodiversity. If you are one of those microagressors, then you haven’t taken that time yet. But if you ever do, you might discover that I can bring a lot to the table.
I truly am open to any questions you may have, so please ask. Seriously. Meanwhile, here are some YouTube videos that might give you additional insight into autism:
Neurodiversity in the workplace (Short)
What’s It Really Like to Have Autism?
A Guide to Workplace Inclusion for Autistic Employees
The Beautiful Reality of Autism
My book would make a great gift. Just sayin’. http://amzn.to/2mlPVh5
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