Anyone who knows me knows that I hate to cook. It’s just that I can think of a million other ways I’d prefer to spend my time. When I lived alone, I’d either grab processed food that required very little effort, or I’d make one huge pot of something, freeze it in small portions, and then eat the same thing over and over for weeks on end.
But there are a few things I’d miss if I couldn’t find any other way to get them. One of those things is really fresh guacamole. Just writing this is making me crave it.
As with most of my recipes, I don’t do measurements or portions. Do what’s best for you.
Barb’s Lazy Guacamole
- Yellow onion
- Avocados
- Heirloom tomatoes
- Lime juice
- Sea Salt
- Cumin
- Scapes (optional)
- Tortilla chips
Chop the onion into pieces at least the size of half a postage stamp, and let it soak in water for a minimum of 2 hours. I’ve been known to forget and leave it soaking for 24 hours and it’s just as good. Onion that hasn’t been soaked is way too harsh.
Once the onions are done soaking, before you do anything else, cut the avocados and make sure they’re actually good. I’ve found avocados to be deceiving, and nothing pisses me off more than to do all the other things and discover the avocados are unusable.
Once you have good avocados in the bowl (obviously no skin or pit), then drain the water out of the onions as thoroughly as you can and add it to the guacamole. (Watery guacamole loses its charm.)
Next, chop the heirloom tomatoes into large chunks. Put these into the bowl as well. (Yes, heirloom tomatoes are more expensive. But they’re pricey for a reason. They actually taste like tomatoes. If you’re going to use any other type of tomatoes, please do not put my name on the result. I’d be ashamed.)
Give the bowl a little squirt of lime juice. (Believe me, less is more with the lime juice. You can always put more in. You can’t take it out. And I have regretted over-juiced guacamole a time or two.)
If it is scape season and you have access to them, chop them up into little bits and throw them in, too. Their super-mild garlic flavor adds a certain something. I miss it when it’s not there, but it can’t be faked with garlic or garlic powder or garlic salt. If you have none, just think of them wistfully and move on.
I used to add chopped fresh cilantro in there, too, but stopped doing so for a few reasons. 1) Not everybody likes cilantro. Go figure. 2) When you buy it in a store, they make you buy about 20 times more than you’ll need, and I hate wasting food. 3) If you choose to grow it, you’ll also grow more than you need, and I hate wasting garden space. 4) Once I started leaving it out, I found I didn’t particularly miss it.
Now, if you have a potato masher, this is the perfect time to use it. Mash all the stuff up. I like to leave chunks here and there for texture, but smooth is good, too. If you don’t have a potato masher, a large spoon or fork will work. It will just take longer and not be as satisfying an experience.
As you’re doing the mashing, add cumin and salt to taste. As with the lime juice, less is more with the cumin. Be careful.
Now your guacamole is ready to serve. Don’t forget the chips! Enjoy!
If you have any super-simple recipes you’d like to share, let me know. I’ll give you full credit.
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