The View from a Drawbridge

The neighborhood I live in isn’t one I would have chosen for myself, but it’s growing on me. I do love the fact that we’re the only house on our side of the street, and there’s a huge city park on three sides of us. That amounts to what an old friend of mine used to call “a whole lotta leave me alone”. That suits me just fine. That’s a rare commodity in the Seattle area.

And ever since we’ve put in the little free library, I’ve gotten a little bit of a sense of community. Just enough to feel connected, but not enough to get caught up in drama. We’re a part of things, but we keep our own counsel.

For the most part, the neighborhood is quiet. I’ll admit, drag racers do treat our street as a racetrack, and that can be annoying. And we’re not far from a hospital, so the sirens tend to make our dogs sing along, but I choose to view that as charming, unless I’m in REM sleep. I could do without the 4-week firework season at random hours around the 4^th of July, but honestly, if that’s all I have to complain about, I’m doing rather well. I have friends who hear gunshots in the distance every night and have been robbed more than once. No thanks.

On the other side of the street are a few relatively crime-free housing developments. I feel safe here. The philosophy in this community seems to be, “Be a good neighbor, and live and let live.”

At the risk of putting that Sesame Street song in your head (you know the one–𝆕 Oh, the plumber is a person in my neighborhood… 𝆕 Here’s the lowdown on the people that I meet each day:

I often see a few regulars walking down the street, picking up trash. We wave at each other. If I’m doing chalk art on my sidewalk with slogans to encourage reading, people will beep and wave as they pass. When I’m out front in the garden, people have stopped to talk. I’ve met someone who is trying to improve his English, and a young lady who is dyslexic. Both of them have thanked me for the easier books that I leave in the little free library, so I always make sure there are some for them. We know our Fed Ex guy, our UPS guy, our mailman, and the city employee who mows the park. We know the cashiers at the grocery store 2 blocks down. Our dentist is in that same shopping mall. We’ve even met the animal control guy once, when one of our dogs ran off.

Nobody means anybody any harm. I genuinely believe that. Or at least I used to.

There are also 3 places of worship across the street. In the interests of full disclosure, none of them are my religion of choice (my church is a bit of a commute), but I’ve never considered that an issue. They’ve been fine, we’ve been fine.

The first one is an Evangelical Covenant Church. They’ve been at that location since the 1980’s, give or take. Their website says that they are a multiethnic Christian church, and that’s reinforced by their website photos. The site talks about social justice and cultural understanding. I have no idea what their services are like.

What I do know is that they have opened up their parking lot to be a park and ride spot for area commuters, as there’s a bus stop right out front. That’s a really valuable service. Church parking lots are empty for much of the week, and theirs is huge, so why not put it to good use? I have always believed that one of the primary goals of most places of worship is to be good stewards in their community, and this is one very obvious way that this one is walking the talk.

From what I can tell, people respect their generosity. I have never seen people leaving garbage there, or using it as a dump site, or vandalizing the property in any way. That’s as it should be, of course, but you never know what you’re going to get. They just assumed the best of people, and that’s what they have gotten.

Now, that’s a good neighbor. I’m so impressed by them. If I ever met someone looking for a church of their type, I’d recommend them based on that alone.

Even closer to us is an independent conservative Baptist church. It’s been at that location since about the 1970’s. Again, I have never attended one of their services. I’ve also never had an issue with them.

The entrance to the park is right across the street from them, and the parking lot is way too small for the number of cars that wish to park there, so I often see people park in the Baptist church’s parking lot and run across the road. I don’t know how the church feels about it. I see no signs saying they sanction it or prohibit it. I know that a lot of people who use the park are grateful, and while it makes me nervous to see so many people run across the highway, since the city refuses to expand the parking lot or put in a crosswalk (because, apparently, that would be more expensive than the cost of a human life), I don’t see the situation changing anytime soon.

I haven’t seen much evidence that this church has reached out in any way to the local community. But then, I haven’t really been looking that hard. They have no signs by the street that indicate their sermon topic, upcoming events, or even their times and dates of service. Never having interacted with any of the congregation, I have no real sense of them, other than that I sometimes pull into their parking lot to use my cell phone rather than text and drive, and no one has ever shooed me away. They’ve kept quiet and have never caused issues in the neighborhood, so as far as I was concerned, that was enough for me.

A quick glance at their website gives one a positive vibe. It says things like, “We are a church with a high view of God, a high view of Scripture, and a genuine love for people.” “You are Welcome here!”

Well, that’s nice. And I could have gone for the rest of my life having that warm yet distant feeling about them. That would also have been nice.

But then, a few months ago, we started noticing that traffic cones were blocking their driveway entrance every Friday. Dear Husband noticed it long before I did, because he spends more time in the neighborhood that day than I do. The reason I started noticing is that I wanted to go to the park one Friday, and the park parking lot, as usual, was packed solid, but no one was able to park across the street due to the cones.

Note: There will be an interesting plot twist about these cones at the end of this post, so please read all the way through!

I wondered what was going on. Their parking lot was empty. Their congregation wasn’t there. They didn’t seem to be setting up for an event or doing any sort of construction. Were they going to permanently block every park visitor from parking there? That would be a disaster for the community.

But no. It was only on Fridays. Every Friday without fail. Unless they have a caretaker living on the property, a church member must be making a special trip just to put those cones out. Why was this so important?

Dear Husband figured it out before I did. It was because of their next-door neighbors. When he spelled it out, I was disgusted.

Back in 2019 we noticed that the adjacent property was for sale. It stayed that way for quite a while. It has a nice building on it, but the property itself isn’t really ideal, because it’s down a hill, so that the building’s roof is practically level with the street, behind some trees and bushes. Most people probably drive right past without even realizing anything is down there. It gets pretty marshy down there when it rains. But I’m sure it was a bargain for whoever purchased it.

It sold right around COVID time, and we didn’t see all that much activity. We didn’t give it much thought, to be honest. Live and let live. I actually went a couple years without wondering about it.

Then, one day I happened to be on Google maps looking for something nearby, and I discovered that it was labeled as a Sunni Mosque. No sign out front. Nothing. I can hardly blame them for wanting to keep a low profile, in times like these, even in the liberal bubble of Western Washington State. They’re quiet, they mind their own business, so it certainly wasn’t a cause for concern for us.

And things have been trundling along like that for years now. Until traffic-cone-gate, that is. Friday, you see, is the Mosque’s day of worship, and the Baptists wanted to make it perfectly clear that the Muslims were not welcome to use the Baptist parking lot. And for what it’s worth, we did get confirmation that that was their motivation, straight from the horse’s mouth.

DH is one of those good Samaritans who picks up trash along our street, and while he was out and about, he stopped by the Baptist’s office and inquired about the cones.  His suspicions having been verified, he asked why the cones were necessary, as the Muslims are good neighbors, after all, and it’s not like the Baptist parking lot is being used on a Friday.

The guy told my husband that they do not think they’re good neighbors at all. They believe the only route to heaven is through Jesus Christ. And furthermore, “those people are dangerous.”

After doing his best to pick his jaw up off the floor, DH shook his head and said, “That’s not very Christian of you.”

You have to know my husband. He would sooner chop off his own head than speak harshly to a stranger, even if, in my opinion, that stranger richly deserved it. So, considering the source, his response was roughly equivalent to me opening up a big ol’ can of whoop ass. But of course, the guy didn’t know that. Especially since DH punctuated his retort by politely leaving.

When he told me about this, I was shocked, because this was the first time I’d heard of any hate in our quiet little neighborhood. It felt as though I was seeing a space alien walking down the ramp of her spaceship in our front yard. It didn’t fit with my reality.

My first thought was what can I do? The rest of the neighborhood needs to know about this! We need to excise this cancer form our corpus! Out, out, damned spot! Get thee behind me! And a dozen other phrases of that nature!

I considered putting a big sign across the street from the church driveway that said, “Cones in your driveway every Friday. ‘Love your neighbor’ every Sunday. Which is it?”

But then I realized that they’d assume it was the Muslims who did it. The last thing I wanted to do is stir up trouble for them. They just want to be left alone.

But hey! Maybe I could make the sign a sandwich board instead, and place it in my driveway every Sunday, so that cars passing by in each direction can see it. I’m sure quite a few members of their congregation drive right past our house to get to church. And they’d know it wasn’t the Muslims.

But even if I got them to take down the cones, the Muslims have already gotten the message, and probably wouldn’t want to park there anyway. And who could blame them? Who wants to be where they’re not wanted?

Those cones are an insult to the neighborhood. They make me angry every Friday. It makes me sick that there is such ignorance right across the street. And it makes me sad that a group that claims to follow the teachings of Jesus is behaving in a way that would horrify Jesus, and that they are teaching their members, especially the younger ones, that that is okay. They put those cones out every Friday to shout, “We hate you. You are not wanted here.”

That contradicts the words on their website. That contradicts the Bible. What a slap in the face to basic morals and the golden rule.

But you know what else those cones say? They say, “We are ignorant.” “We are full of hate.” “We are petty, paranoid, hostile and childish.” “We take pleasure in thinking that we’re the only ones in the right, and even more pleasure in making those we feel are wrong as miserable as possible.”

Those cones say nothing about the Muslims next-door. They say everything about the Baptists. Their masks are off, and what’s underneath is beyond ugly. And the funny thing is, they are too stupid to see how badly they are exposing themselves.

In fairness, I should not tar the entire congregation with one brush. They may not all feel the same way. It’s even possible that many of them are not aware that this is going on. As I said, their parking lot is empty on Fridays. But if they do know, and aren’t doing anything about it, then they are complicit in the hate. And if they don’t know, I find it hard to believe that that level of hate hasn’t leaked into their little religious bubble in other ways. And yet they keep coming back for more. It’s really quite pathetic.

Another thing I’ve thought about doing is sneaking over and stealing the cones. But that’s theft. Or “accidentally” crushing them under the wheels of my car. But do I really want to stir sh*t up in the neighborhood? What would be the point?

But I don’t want to be one of those people who simply looks the other way, either. I truly can’t stand that type of person. I’d like to think I have more integrity than that. But what to do, to make the Muslims feel more comfortable, without bringing ICE raining down on them, and putting all of us at risk of being shot in the street like dogs?

Well, first and foremost, I decided to reach out to them. I found them on Facebook, and was delighted by their posts. There was one expressing condolences for those who lived in towns in this region that had experienced forest fires, giving them information about FEMA. There was one seminar taught by a lawyer to inform them of their rights. There was a get together to watch their favorite cricket team on the big screen, refreshments provided. There was a huge outdoor family gathering to celebrate Eid. One member announced his new HVAC company. Another opened his own driving school. They offered a class on tenants’ rights. There was a request for donations to help someone who was still in hospital so he could pay his medical bills.

I don’t know why I feel the need to demonstrate that these people are just fellow human beings. That should go without saying. But these are the times in which we live. Anyway, from there, I found their website and sent them a message which I’ll share, in part, here:

Hello, 
I have been meaning to reach out to you for some time, and in these increasingly troubled times, I felt I shouldn't put it off any longer. My husband and I live in the house across the street from your Mosque. We wanted you to know that we are glad you are our neighbors. 
It distresses us greatly that the Baptist Church next door to you has not been as welcoming. We have lost respect for them because of their ridiculous new habit of blocking off their driveway every Friday. You have been nothing but good neighbors, and we see that, so their behavior is a poor reflection on them. 
We just wanted you to know that we don't feel the way they apparently do. As members of this community, you and your congregation have as much right to be treated with dignity and respect as anyone else does. 
Wishing all of you health, happiness, prosperity and safety.

I was gratified to see that they responded the very next day.

Hello Barb, 
Thank you so much for taking the time to reach out to us and for your very kind and thoughtful message. On behalf of our community, we truly appreciate your support and your warm words. It means a great deal to know that we have caring and understanding neighbors like you and your husband. We believe that good neighborly relationships, mutual respect, and peaceful coexistence are what make a community strong.
Your message was very encouraging for our congregation, especially during times when kindness and understanding are more important than ever. We are grateful to have you as our neighbors and sincerely wish you and your family continued health, happiness, and safety as well.

Reading that made my heart swell. But even that didn’t feel like quite enough. So I purchased the following signs for our yard, which you can find on Amazon here and here.

And I have ordered this T-shirt from the DearPersonCo website, which I will wear quite often. All their products have messages that promote the importance of mental wellbeing, and best of all, a portion of all sales are donated to support mental health. (And this link above, and the one on the photo, I must admit, are affiliate links, so if you use it and then buy something, I’ll get a small portion of the sales, too.)

This shirt, in particular, seems to really be touching people’s hearts. There are stories all over the internet about people wearing it who have been approached by total strangers, with tears in their eyes, who have said, “You have no idea how much I needed to hear that today.” I especially plan to wear mine when I go to crowded venues, for that very reason. They’d also make great gifts.

It is sad to think that these are the only things I can think of do that I’m fairly certain won’t incite violence. It’s sad to think that the divisiveness in this country has gotten so wide. It’s sad to see people who purport to love Jesus stray so far from his message of love. Should Sesame Street also be warning kids that bigots are also people you’ll meet in your neighborhood? Sadly, I’m guessing the kids who need to know that the most already do.

But now for the shocking twist.

While taking the traffic cone photo for this blog post for me, DH did discover something interesting. It’s not the Baptists putting the cones out. It’s the Muslims! The only motivation that I can come up with for them doing so is that the Baptists complained to them, though, so they’re still cones born of hate. But as their response to me indicated, the Muslims want peaceful coexistence, so if discouraging their congregation from parking there makes the Baptists happy, then so be it. Now I’m doubly grateful I didn’t steal or destroy the cones.

But having this new insight about the cones means that when I see them every friday, I won’t go straight to anger. Instead, my anger will be tinged with a little bit of sadness that it’s the Muslims who are attempting to extend the olive branch and yet they are getting nothing positive in return. But I’ll also have the distinct privilege of witnessing people coming back, week after week, and loving someone’s hate. There could be nothing more godly than that. It turns out that these traffic cones say quite a bit about the Muslims after all.

If you can, reach out to the beleaguered communities near you and tell them you support them. I’m sure it’s easy for them to think, these days, that no one does. And that has got to be scary. We are all feeling a bit helpless right now. We should at least make an effort to reach out as far as we can.

When we all link hands, it’s a lot harder for us to be pushed down.