-
No More Fried Chicken for Breakfast and Other Self-Imposed Rules
Since I work graveyard shift, I tend to eat very strange things for breakfast. I get off work at 8 am craving hamburgers, and after eating them, I go to bed for the day. Recently I found this fantastic 24 hour fried chicken place on my route home from work. The only problem is that…
-
The Futility of Accumulation
I long to have one of those minimalist homes with wide expanses of floor space and no tchotchkes to dust or arrange. No clutter. No collections. I want to be able to move all my stuff from one house to the next in just one or two carloads. I often look around at the mess…
-
“It’s a Ride Naked on a Tricycle Kind of Day”
A friend of mine sent out a picture of his toddler doing just that the other day, and that was the caption below it. I thought, “I have those kinds of days, but only in my head.” That reminded me of one of my pet peeves. Why do children get to do things that adults…
-
Condom Socks and Other Privately Public Things
As I write this, I am wearing the most comfortable socks I’ve ever owned. And to add to their allure, they have the word “condom” woven across the sole. It’s like walking around with my own little secret that no one would guess unless I chose to reveal it. These socks were given to me…
-
I Love Kokopelli
Ah, Kokopelli, the trickster, the fertility God of the tribes of the American Southwest. I just love this guy! Not only is he a symbol of abundant crops and the production of game animals, but he is the purveyor of trinkets, and he chases away winter and ushers in spring. He is known to bring…
-
The Power of Persuasion
This should be a very short entry, because I’m fairly convinced that I’ve never changed anyone’s mind about anything. Ever. I mean, EVER. Wow. It feels good to admit that out loud. What a load off my shoulders! If there were a 12 step program for people like me, I’d be at step two. Step…
-
Don’t Hold on to Bitterness
I got a friend request on Facebook from someone who made my life miserable in high school.
-
What I’d Love to Say to Tom Cruise
Ah, Tom Cruise. Known for your acting, of course, but also the poster child for Scientology and crazy, couch-jumping hyper-romanticism. I’ve followed your career closely over the years. We had a moment, you and I. I happened to be in Las Vegas when you were filming Rain Man with Dustin Hoffman. To be honest, I…
-
“It’s Because I’m Black!”
One time I was at the front of the line at my grocery store, making my week’s purchases. Next in line was a lady with a small child, and she had a full cart as well. Behind her stood a lady with just two items. That lady said to me, “Excuse me, would you mind…
-
Crossing the Rat Man
It all seemed harmless at first. I came home one day and there was a cauliflower and a note on my front porch. “I had an extra one, and I didn’t want it to go to waste. Hope you like cauliflower. Your backyard neighbor, Jim.” I thought, “How sweet.” The cauliflower looked to be in…