Tag: human

  • Layers

    Layers

    The other day I made the mistake of Googling the name of someone I intensely dislike. I wish I hadn’t. She has always been hostile toward me, and extremely territorial. To cope with her I kind of imagine her as an evil Martian with neither heart nor soul. That way her behavior somehow seems understandable…

  • Trapped on the Washing Machine in a Powder Blue Tux

    “You know, midgets are because humans used to breed with trolls.” These words of wisdom were issuing forth from my coworker, “C”. I wish I could say that I was shocked, but after years of working with this guy, nothing could surprise me anymore. There was no point in trying to explain that trolls are…

  • Who Was the First Person to Think Lobster Would be Good to Eat?

    Don’t get me wrong. I love lobster. I’d slap my mama for some lobster right now. But I’m trying to imagine the first lobster/human encounter. Here’s this ugly, spider-like thing with these big claws. How crazy would you have to be to say, “Let’s eat this bug-like creature!” I have similar thoughts about clams and…