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The Letting Go
When my mother died, I hung on to this bottle of deodorant she had given me until long after it had been used up. Because she gave it to me. I think I got it into my head that getting rid of that bottle would be like losing my connection with her. I just couldn’t…
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A Mental Walkabout
Once upon a time, I’d visit a different foreign country every two years. Those were the days. Now, 60 percent of my income goes toward mortgage and utilities, and I don’t see myself ever being able to leave the country again. That breaks my heart, because travel is my reason for being. Because of this,…
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Nostalgia Food
About once a year, something will come over me and I’ll buy a can of sardines and eat them in one sitting. I don’t particularly like sardines. I don’t dislike them, either. It’s just that they remind me of my grandmother. When I was little, not yet of school age, my mother would drop me…
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Facebook Drops a Bomb
Recently I got an e-mail from Facebook. “Today is Chuck’s birthday! Let him know you’re thinking about him!” A better question would be, when am I not thinking about him? Since his death my life hasn’t been the same. Were it not for Facebook I might have made it through that day without the occasional…
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Dear New Tenants
When you rent a place that you know has been a rental property for many years, you tend to think of it as having no emotional history whatsoever. It’s easy to assume that it’s just a space that has been occupied by a long line of non-owners who came, paid their rent, and then moved…
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The Past Isn’t Going Anywhere
I heard that somewhere recently and it really struck a chord in me. I know so many people who dwell in the past. They’re bitter about unresolved issues with people, or they’re longing for better times, or they are using the past as a convenient excuse not to move forward, or they are just exercising…
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Changing My Trajectory
As many of you know, I’ve been house hunting lately. I’m dreading the whole packing and moving thing, but it’s nice to think that my next move might just be my last. But who knows what the future holds? That’s the exciting part. By moving, I’ll be changing my trajectory in life. I’ll be shopping…
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If Our Thoughts Were on Intercom
As I was walking around doing routine maintenance on my drawbridge today, I decided to keep track of the things that were going through my head. The song Cover of The Rolling Stone by Dr. Hook. The idea for this blog entry. I should have worn a jacket. I was wishful springing. Wow, he was…
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My Happy Easter Memory
Since I’m not a kid or a Christian, Easter tends to go by without my taking too much notice these days. Like Halloween, it’s kind of a non-holiday holiday for me. But when I was little, I absolutely loved coloring eggs. (Come to think of it, I’d probably still find that fun. Therapeutic, even. )…
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Sound Memories
This coming June, I’ll have officially lived longer without my mother in my life than I did with her. What a concept. I can no longer remember her voice, except for the sound of one painfully high note she would hit when we’d sing a particular song. “Ain’t gonna GRIEEEEEVE my Lord no more!” I…