I could have stayed there for the rest of my life.
I could have stayed there for the rest of my life.
He looks at me as if I’ve taken leave of my senses.
“INTRUDER ALERT!!!!!!!”
I go to work. I come home. I start dinner. I sit on my back porch in my fifteen dollar red plastic Adirondack chair, and put my feet up on my brown plastic thrift shop stool. My dog Quagmire jumps on my lap. Sometimes I ask him to tell me about his day. He’s never …
It’s funny. You can float along in cyberspace, completely anonymous to all but friends and family, and then all of a sudden, BAM! The limelight blasts you right in the cornea. It’s happened to me a few times. It’s always unexpected and seemingly random. And it feels very strange. I had one of those days …
At the risk of sounding completely unhinged, I’m beginning to think my dog Quagmire has supernatural powers. I’ve written time and again about his ability to conjure up a variety of different food from seemingly nowhere. (Check out my most recent post about that, which will in turn link you to all the others.) This …
In the past, I’ve written about my dog Quagmire’s uncanny ability to bring me foodstuff out of nowhere. Bananas. Watermelons. Peaches. An egg. I never got to the bottom of that mystery. I was kind of hoping it would come to an end once I’d moved. I figured, once the supply lines were cut, whatever, …
Hi, I’m Quagmire! My mom would describe me as a little black Dachshund with a milk mustache and a serious screw loose. I’ve been known to lunge at a cop’s ankles, but hey, I have no front teeth, so I’m only trying to prove a point. I’ve also brought some strange grocery items into the …
So, I’m trying to get out of my rental lease early, in order to move into my new (to me) house. That means I need to swallow really hard and allow potential renters to root around in my underwear drawer in my absence. My dog Quagmire is less than thrilled by this process. You’ve got …
Okay everybody, someone is really trying to mess with my head. Not since the movie “Gaslight” has anyone been as manipulated into questioning his or her sanity as I have been lately. To bring you up to speed, 10 months ago I wrote The Great Banana Mystery, in which I described the antics of my …
The View from a Drawbridge 