The other day I watched a brief video of a Children’s book that was narrated by Samuel L Jackson. It’s called “Go the F**k to Sleep”. I don’t know what made me laugh harder: the actual book, which was surely written more for the entertainment of adults, or the fact that we have reached a point in history where we’re willing to laugh at ourselves enough to actually publish a book of this type.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=y-vDYOpkoWE
This got me thinking of other children’s books that are simply crying out to be written. Here’s a few that I’ve come up with, but feel free to suggest your own in the comments section below.
- Things Often DON’T End Happily Ever After. Sorry.
- Glass Slippers Would Cause Fungal Infections on Your Feet
- There’s a Good Chance You Won’t Become Royalty
- Not Everyone is Beautiful and That’s Okay.
- If You See Things Turning into Pumpkins, You Might Need Help
- If You Go Around Kissing Sleeping Women, You May Appear Desperate or Do Time
- The Plural of Dwarf is Dwarves
- It’s Usually Not a Good Idea to Hang Out with Undomesticated Animals
- The Yellow Brick Road Has Pot Holes
- If Someone Gives You Magic Beans, Make Sure They’re Not from Monsanto
- Jackass: The Eighth Dwarf
- The Big Bad Wolf was Just Misunderstood
- Humpty Dumpty Died and it Wasn’t Pretty
- Goldilocks was a Burglar
- Never Throw Wild Parties with Creatures 10 Times Your Size
- If Someone is Creepy, Don’t Get in his Boat, Even if he Owns a Chocolate Factory
- Most Problems aren’t Solved in 25 Pages
- Not all Evil People are Visibly Ugly
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