This happened on the bridge on my day off. Thank God.
Two bridgetenders were standing on the catwalk outside our tenderhouse when they looked down to the street level and saw a man vault himself over the railing and plunge 40 feet into the rapidly flowing, extremely deep river below. A woman who witnessed this from the sidewalk began to scream. Can you imagine the adrenaline dump?
My coworkers immediately ran out to see if the man popped up to the surface, but saw no sign of him. They called 911, and within minutes there were police cars and ambulances on the scene. There was even a helicopter.
Then they saw the man floating away on a paddle board. Apparently he had paddled to the bridge, stowed the board on the concrete and wooden fender system, climbed up the bridge, then jumped back off. When he was apprehended by the sheriff’s office boat, he denied the whole thing. He was quite smug about it. He even gave the bridgetenders a thumb’s up sign as he paddled away. Witness statements were taken and he was hauled off to jail.
In emergency response alone, he probably cost the city tens of thousands of dollars. These first responders could have been better employed elsewhere in the city, helping people who actually needed them. And this fool was very lucky to survive. If he had hit the fender system on the way down, he’d have broken every bone in his body. Or he could have easily been swept away by the current and drown before anyone could rescue his stupid butt. Or he could have broken his neck on impact or been knocked unconscious and been unable to swim. All of those things happen all the time with jumpers on that bridge.
If he has any brains at all (which is highly questionable) he now realizes that maybe this was not the brilliant plan he originally thought it would be. Then again, sometimes there’s just no antidote for stupid.
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