I’ve always wanted a tattoo, but I can never quite justify the expense. I could probably get a good deal, too, as my boyfriend’s son is one of the best tattoo artists in this city. Even so… Nope. I most likely won’t ever get around to it. Plus I have this thing about pain.
If I did get one, though, I’d make sure it was something that could be covered up by a typical short sleeved shirt. You have no way of predicting what image you’ll want to project in the future. I know a guy who got spiders tattooed on the backs of his hands in his younger, wilder days. Now he’s a businessman who wears suits. He can see potential business partners flinch when he reaches out to shake their hands. He calls these tattoos his stupid marks.
And I definitely would get just one tattoo. No point in overdoing it. Sometimes when I can’t sleep, I like to drive out to the 24 hour Waffle House and have breakfast. You’d be amazed at how many regular customers they have at 3 in the morning. Usually they are a quiet bunch. One night I was sitting at the counter looking at a menu when a guy came in and sat beside me. He had tattoos on every square inch of his body, from his feet to the top of his bald head. I sat there and wondered how many jobs he missed out on, how many relationships he missed out on, how many times he was discriminated against. All that could have been avoided. I found out later that he died of liver failure, most likely from the heavy metals in the massive amount of tattoo ink that he had encased himself in. Less is definitely more.
My late sister was in the Air Force for 21 years. Working in that testosterone-infused environment, she would occasionally hear rumors about herself. One of the guys would imply that she had behaved, shall we say, less than professionally with him. This would upset her, but she came up with a handy little trick to quickly put such rumors, uh, to bed. Whenever the rumor reached her ears, she’d laugh and say, “Oh yeah? Then ask him to describe my tattoo.” Naturally the guy could never do so, and he’d wind up looking like a dope. And my sister would be laughing inside, because she didn’t actually have a tattoo. But the guy would have no way of knowing that.
Tattoos are a great way to express yourself, provided you give the design, location and quantity a great deal of consideration. But who would have ever thought they’d also be a great source of rumor control?
[Image credit: fanpop.com]



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