The View from a Drawbridge

Politicians make decisions every day that affect people’s lives. With great power comes great responsibility. When they negatively impact the world around them, I think they should personally feel that impact as well. Maybe then they would take their choices more seriously.

Governors of states that have chosen to forego the Medicaid subsidies, thus depriving millions of their health coverage, should cancel their own health coverage too.

Don’t think waterboarding is torture? Prove it. Experience it firsthand right there on the Senate floor.

Choosing to send thousands off to war? Send your own children. They should be first in line.

Supporting fracking? Offer up your own back yard for such treatment.

Against abortion and Planned Parenthood? By all means, adopt a crack baby with fetal alcohol syndrome.

Refusing to support the arts? Then everything within your field of vision, for the rest of your life, should be gunmetal grey.

Criminalizing casual marijuana use? Report to my office for your hair follicle test immediately.

Caught in a lie? Corporal punishment shall be meted out on camera in the Capitol rotunda.

Tempted to shut down the government? 5 minutes alone in a locked room with a grizzly bear from Yellowstone Park should take care of that.

Want to take away people’s pensions or Social Security? Yours should go, too, then.

Against immigration? Unless you’re an American Indian, get out.

Refusing to hold tobacco companies accountable? We’ll be happy to pump smoke into your home and office for the rest of your foreshortened life.

Don’t want to raise the minimum wage? Then the current one is now your salary.

Not taking steps to help the environment? May you only drink water from the Love Canal, breathe air from Beijing, and live on waterfront property on one of the islands that is sinking below the rising sea.

Refusing to sign off on a budget? Cough up your credit cards forthwith. Don’t worry, we’ll take good care of them.

As long as there are children in this country going without food, may you starve.

As long as there are people sleeping on park benches, may you never experience the comfort of a roof or a mattress again.

And for every false political ad that you choose to subject us to, may you be forced to watch 100 hours of Barney back to back.

Government without accountability ought to be a crime, and voting the bad politicians out should be a moral imperative.

[Image credit: ACLU.org]