I had been driving all day on Interstate 90, on my journey to Yellowstone National Park, when I saw a faded billboard for a Testicle Festival in Clinton, Montana. The hell? I almost went off the road. Was I hallucinating?
Nope. This was for real. What on earth? I can’t imagine there’s much to do out here. I mean, I doubt you can even get pizza delivered, which is my ultimate litmus test for civilization. But a Testicle Festival? Aren’t men already entirely too full of themselves?
Or maybe all the ranchers get together to castrate their bulls all at once. But that doesn’t seem practical. Those poor creatures would be agitated enough at a time like that without having to witness the violation of their cohorts as the humans around them throw a party. Clearly I was going to have to Google this as soon as I had access to wifi again.
It was a solid week before I found myself back on the information superhighway, and it’s a testament to my level of sick curiosity that this Google search was one of the first things I did. It seems that the Testy Fest is a 5 day event held every August in Clinton, and it draws quite the crowd. It’s the place to go to satisfy your craving for fried bulls’ testicles. (You don’t have to thank me. I’m just providing a public service by passing this information along.)
While there, you can also participate in the “Undie 500”, which is a race that you do in your skivvies. In addition, you can take part in the cow chip throwing contest or play some bullshit bingo. Fun for the whole family!
I’m not sure this festival is going to make it onto my bucket list, but it would be fun to have a t-shirt that said, “I had a ball at the Testicle Festival”.
The View from a Drawbridge 
How many Festivals are set in stone two years in advance? I have heard of this before. People travel many miles to taste these morsels. Imagine the jokes that arise from this festival, and I’m sure there must be an “all you can eat” contest, where the winner is deemed Full of Bull. This one brightened my day.
It never ceases to amaze me what some people are willing to eat. 🙂
Consider the bull or cow…they must be horrified at what people are willing to eat.
Whoa. That just gave me the shivers. 🙂
I could have told you it was about ‘rocky mountain oysters’…
I’m not going to ask why you knew. I’m afraid of what you’ll say.
I have never tried them, but I have heard of them… and men would never get away with a celebration about their own testicles.
True. They already do that every day, pretty much.
well… yeah…
You need to go! 😛
Not sure I’d have the stomach for it. 🙂
Haha. In the interest of a good blog post! 😛
Ohhh, that’s SO unfair. 🙂
So you’re saying you literally wouldn’t have the balls to try them? Sorry, I couldn’t resist.
Ha! That about sums it up. 🙂