Snap, Crackle, Pop

I just love crunchy food. My latest thing is Trader Joe’s Giant Peruvian Inca Corn. It’s salty, it’s filling, and you can almost convince yourself that it’s a serving of vegetables. But it’s the crunch that does it for me. I feel like Godzilla destroying a metropolis when I eat it. It’s very satisfying.

I’ve also long been a fan of bubble wrap. A friend once gave me a whole roll of it for Christmas. I could pop that stuff all day long. There’s something to be said for sound effects that accompany harmless destruction. I’m convinced it lowers my blood pressure.

For those of you who are as far out on the lunatic fringe as I am, I’ve recently come across hundreds of videos on Youtube made by “Dr. Pimple Popper”. Dr. Sandra Lee is a dermatologist in California, and she’s been making videos of her various procedures for years now. If you have a weak stomach, this Youtube channel is not for you, but I have to confess it mesmerizes me. I can and have watched these videos for hours.

It is amazing, the weird things our bodies can produce. Cysts the size of goose eggs that Dr. Lee sometimes is able to remove intact, or sometimes has to burst first. Dialated Pores of Winer are fascinating. The stuff seems to come out for days. Sometimes the contents are hard as a rock, sometimes not.

And you get to know some of the patients, albeit anonymously. Dr. Lee really has changed some people’s lives. What a great job to have!

I am not the only person obsessed with these videos. Some of them have more than 8 million views. People say they find them relaxing. They say it helps them sleep. I get that. It’s like Dr. Lee is definitively solving a big, distressing, painful problem, and for a moment, all’s right with the world.

I used to have a boyfriend who didn’t mind me popping his pimples. I liked doing it. Not only because sometimes it looked like invasion of the body snatchers or something, but also because I felt like I was helping him feel and look better. Then I had a boyfriend who absolutely refused to let me touch his pimples, and it would drive me insane.

Is this something I should add to my internet dating profile? What do you think? They say there’s someone for everyone…

inca corn

Check out my weird and wacky mind, in book form! http://amzn.to/2mlPVh5

Author: The View from a Drawbridge

I have been a bridgetender since 2001, and gives me plenty of time to think and observe the world.

20 thoughts on “Snap, Crackle, Pop”

  1. As for updating your profile…be prepared for some fetishes you’d never consider. You might also have to settle for a 20 something since they’re more likely to still have copious acne issues. 🙂

  2. The Giant Peruvian Inca Corn looks like Corn Nuts on steroids. I like a good crunch too (I used to chew on ice) but my increasing dental bills have me reduced to popcorn…a softer, safer crunch if I avoid the unpopped kernels (also known pejoratively as old maids and spinsters). 🙂

      1. Freaky how much we have in common. 🙂
        I air pop, spray with evvo or coconut oil and sprinkle on a dash of sea salt. An easy healthy lo fat, lo cal crunchy snack 3 to 4 times a week. If I’m missing cracker jacks I add some agave syrup to melted coconut oil, throw in nuts (more crunch) and toss.

      2. Martin Mull once observed that (and I’m paraphrasing) humans are the only animal that chews the ice when they finish their drinks…

  3. Correction evoo. My fingers type faster than my brain some days. Don’t think they make a double virgin version.
    Ever try a vegemite? It uses brewers yeast which is similar to nutritional yeast but it’s an acquired taste.

  4. Oddly intriguing. But too gross to watch for very long. Especially after dinner. Also, I’m not sure I can take a dermatologist who allows herself to be known as Dr. Pimple Popper seriously. (On the other hand, I have some idea of what to expect if I ever decide to have any of my lipomas removed…)

    1. I think the woman is a genius at self-promotion. People come to see her from all over the world! You could call me anything you want for branding like that! If you have your lipomas removed, I want to watch. 🙂

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